After my father crushed my dreams, and refused to pay for my university in England, I wanted to take revenge on him.
Serious problem right here. Basically at eighteen, you're on your own. It's normally a nice thing for parents to help out beyond that, but they are not obligated to do so. (See Maharik responsum #166.) If you were expecting a favor and didn't receive it, it's natural to feel disappointed, but "I demand revenge because you hurt me" is inaccurate.
As far as the prohibition of revenge per se -- it applies if someone harmed you (or refused you a favor), and now you harm them (or refuse a favor) back. (See Yoma 23a.) But if I decide to succeed in life, and one motivation in the back of my mind is "my dad said I'd never amount to anything, I'll show him" -- well that's not healthy, but that's not revenge per se.
So you should continue to keep kashrus, wear tefilin, and the like. HOWEVER, something is wrong here -- your father feels that religiously-observant people can exhibit parasitic behavior, and you respond by saying -- "well I'm religiously observant and I demand you pay for my college, or else I want revenge!" Can you see how that's reinforcing your father's belief?
Religious growth is a process, and I hope you have a competent rabbi to help you with it. If you continue to keep shabbos, kashrus, and the like, but make it clear to everyone that you are a pleasant, hardworking person who strives for financial self-sufficiency (a value strongly stressed by the Talmud, e.g. Kiddushin 30b), then you've done your best. You can make it clear to your father that you understand his dismay, and yes sadly, some people use religion as an excuse for selfish means, but you are doing your best to keep the 613 while maintaining respect for him and keeping the lines of communication open.
As for doing things with the wrong motivation -- on the one hand, we're told "it's okay to do mitzvahs for ulterior motives, it will eventually bring to you to loftier motives." On the other hand, we're told that if someone studies Torah for ulterior motives, e.g. he wants recognition as a big-name rabbi, that's okay. But if it's done just to spite someone, then that's toxic. (See the first Tosfos on Taanis 7a.) I can't tell you to stop wearing tefilin, but at some point you should be thinking "I am wearing these because God commanded me to do so to remember the Exodus", not "I am wearing these to get back at my dad." If you're doing your mitzvos in a spiteful manner, that's going to burn bridges with your father. If you do them sincerely, then at least you stand a chance.