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There are certain dates throughout the year when one may not give a "Hesped" (eulogy) because of a certain level of happiness associated with those dates.

However, I've attended funerals conducted on some of those dates; the bottom line is that, if someone passes away, the body needs to be buried, and the custom, unless it is a day when Melachah (labor) is prohibited, is to have a funeral at which people deliver speeches about the deceased and offer comfort to the family. I've heard such speeches open with, "We are forbidden from eulogizing today, however I just want to say a few words about..."

So what exactly is not allowed, and how are these speeches not "Hespedim"?

  • 1
    Many times they just are Hespedim. It's really hard to agree to skip Hespedim at a funeral. – Double AA Oct 25 '13 at 17:00
  • @DoubleAA, well, if it's Asur... – Seth J Oct 25 '13 at 17:05
  • I'm not defending the decision, but I think we can all agree such a sin would not be considered lehach'is. Do you want to be the one to tell a grieving family member that they can't speak at the funeral?? מוטב שיהיו שוגגין... – Double AA Oct 25 '13 at 17:06
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    We generally hold that hesped involves raising one's voice, and speaking with words of sorrow so as to prompt others to cry over the deceased (Tur, YD 344: "ומצוותו שירים קולו לומר עליו דברים המשברים הלב כדי להרבות בכייה"). This type of eulogy should not be done on the dates in question. – Fred Oct 25 '13 at 17:16
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    @Fred, looks like an answer to me. – Seth J Oct 25 '13 at 17:38

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