Being a high school teacher I am interested in better understanding what is realistically expected of boys of the age of bar mitzvah in this day and age.

Is, for instance, the non attendance to minyanim 3 times a day considered a travesty or is it accepted that because of (e.g.) maturity, safety and bedtime they would not attend.

Do chazal speak of leniencies for young boys (13+) in other mitzvot because of other considerations such as those mentioned above?

Perhaps this has to do with the distinction of the difference in punishments at 13 and subsequently at 20 and the level of responsibility and achieveability at the respective ages (related question).

  • during the week boys at that age are generally in school and part of a Jewish education has within it time set aside for davening. chinuch doesn't end at age 13 and a father is still responsible to make sure his children receive a proper Jewish education and while the teachers make sure students are present for davening while at school the boys father would make sure he does so when at home
    – Dude
    Commented Jun 12, 2014 at 3:03
  • @Dude Can you source that Chinuch continues past 13?
    – Double AA
    Commented Jun 12, 2014 at 4:09
  • don't have all of the sources that seem to imply this. however, there are certain actions which are not necessarily permitted just b/c one has reached bar mitzvah such as acting as a witness to a wedding or acting as a shoichet without supervision. also the ages listed in perkei avois (chapter 5 paragraph 22) would seem to imply his education continues after bar mitzvah as it mentions the start to learning talmud at age 15. Furthermore, while a child becomes responsible at bar mitzvah he still in many respects still considered a boy until getting married.
    – Dude
    Commented Jun 12, 2014 at 4:55

1 Answer 1


"chanoch l'naar al pi darko.." - "Train a child in the way he should go; when he matures, he will not deviate from it" (Mishlei 22:6). each individual case requires great wisdom on what to say and what not to say. i recommend you read "Reb Mendel" from Artscroll for many examples from the masterful educator Rav Mendel Kaplan zt'l. (my understanding from there is that you need to look at the big picture)

  • 1
    Do you have any examples from the book or other things that must be considered in 'al pi darko'?
    – bondonk
    Commented Oct 17, 2013 at 11:53
  • @bondonk see the book. needs to be seen in context
    – ray
    Commented Oct 17, 2013 at 17:52

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