Can one rightfully refuse to accept Mishloach manos based on the idea of one should not accept presents, or a person who does so wrong since shalach manos was instituted to promote love? The other reason for shalach manos is that it provides food for the seudah, so maybe the idea of not accepting presents can apply (and he should not accept it)?

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    Why might the reason for the institution of mishloach manos affect whether that institution overrides sone matanos yichye? (Don't answer me here :-): edit the answer into the question.)
    – msh210
    Commented Feb 27, 2013 at 2:59
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    Do you have a source that the explanation of that Pasuk is what you're presenting it to be? Commented Feb 27, 2013 at 3:30
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    @HachamGabriel You mean that the Pasuk שונא מתנות יחיה (Mishlei 15:27) means to avoid receiving gifts? Try Megillah 28, Kiddush 59, BB 13 and others
    – Double AA
    Commented Feb 27, 2013 at 3:43
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    @DoubleAA I don't disagree I just thought we are into sources here. Commented Feb 27, 2013 at 3:58
  • @HachamGabriel I didn't complain.
    – Double AA
    Commented Feb 27, 2013 at 4:11

2 Answers 2


The issue is discussed in the נזר התורה journal of Adar 5767, and in responses thereof.

Among the sources cited by the author are the following:

I. Responsum in Yizchak Burstein's מטעמי יצחק. There, R' Burstein cites Chulin 44b:

Whenever R. Zera was sent a gift he would not accept it but whenever he was invited out to dine he would go, for he used to say, ‘They are honoured by [inviting] me’. (Soncino translation)

R' Burstein explains that when the giver of the gift has some benefit (in the gemara, the sender would be honored if the esteemed Rabbi accepted the gift), the concept of שונא מתנות does not apply. Certainly, R' Burstein continues, by משלוח מנות where the sender is fulfilling a מצוה, the concept of שונא מתנות would not apply. (The discussion in the responsum is more detailed and complicated; what I've written here is just the essence of his argument.)

II. R' Moshe Sternbuch in a footnote in Volume 2, Chapter 186 of his מועדים וזמנים makes a similar argument as that of R' Burstein.

(See also here, here,here and here.)

I would also add that the words of the Maharal (in נתיב העושר:א) are appropriate here:

והכל בודאי הולך אחר הכוונה, אם הוא שונא מתנות רק מכוין להחשיב הנותן שרי, אבל כאשר מכוין להנאת עצמו, בודאי האדם הזה יוצא מגדר מה שראוי אל התלמיד חכם

Everything follows the intent [of the recipient], if he despises gifts but he intends to give importance to the giver it is permitted. But when he intends for his own benefit, certainly that person departs from the bounds of what is befitting a Talmid Chacham.


I just found this answer(story):

The Brisker Rav Mulls Over the Mishloach Manos

It was close to sunset on Purim, and someone entered the house of R’ Velvel of Brisk with shalach manos. The Rav ran out of the house to see whether the sun had set yet. When the Rav came back into the house, someone asked him the reason for his puzzling behavior.

The Rav explained that he did not wish to accept presents under any circumstances due to the dictum, “One who despises presents will live” which is not a light matter. However, on Purim accepting presents stems from the din of shalach manos. Now that Purim was almost over, he wanted to check whether the sun had set, which would cause the shalach manos to become a mere present – which he was not willing to accept. (Chayim Sheyash Bahem) (www.Revach.net)

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    and moreover, he was going to be Machmir for this already from Shekiya!
    – Double AA
    Commented Feb 23, 2016 at 13:18

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