There is no Torah obligation (as far as I am aware) for kibbud for a wife; however, in my experience, husbands tend to show a special honor for their wives. An example where this is frequenetly manifest is on Shabbos when the husband will often give a piece of challah to his wife before giving to any of the guests at the table.

My question is: if the husband's parents are at his Shabbos table, is he required by kibbud av v'eym to give them challah first? I am also asking the more general question: does kibbud av v'eim always trump kibbud for a wife?


Regarding honouring one's wife the Gemoro Yevamot 62b says "A man should love his wife as himself and honour her more than himself." ת"ר האוהב את אשתו כגופו והמכבדה יותר מגופו ..... עליו הכתוב אומר וידעת כי שלום אהלך

But there is a comparison between honouring parents and honouring G-d in Kiddushin 30b השוה הכתוב מוראת אב ואם למוראת המקום

So I think kibbud av v'eim normally trumps kibbud for a wife.

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  • So what about the specific practical example I gave in my question with the challah on Shabbat? – Daniel Aug 6 '12 at 18:21
  • @Daniel See the end of my answer here judaism.stackexchange.com/a/11228/759 – Double AA Aug 6 '12 at 22:39
  • @AvrohomYitzchok Your comparison is not perfect because you compare mora to kavod, and also it doesn't say how much more than yourself to honor your wife. So if you could source the last statement that would be nice. +1 for the first source though. – Double AA Aug 6 '12 at 22:41
  • @DoubleAA So with regard to your linked answer, does that mean that the custom of giving the challah to the wife doesn't have anything to do with kibbud? This seems kind of different from the situation in the other question because everybody definitely needs to eat some of the challah for it to be a meal. – Daniel Aug 6 '12 at 23:48
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    @msh210 It's my own .. thought. – Avrohom Yitzchok Aug 7 '12 at 13:11


Torah says "that a man shall abandon his parents and stick to his wife."

Maharik says that if a man falls in love with a lady despite his father's protests, he can ignore his father -- a strong marriage is a religious value, so his father is telling him to do something against the Torah!

Listen to Rabbi Willig's mp3 series on Kibud Av V'em for more.

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  • How would you reply to Avrohom Yitzchok's answer above? – Daniel Aug 7 '12 at 13:26

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