At the Chuppah in some weddings I've been to, the father and father-in-law escort the Chosson and the mother and mother-in-law escort the Kallah. In others, the mother and fathers each escort their own children.

What are the reasons behind these two different customs? Is there a specific reason for each? And are there any other customs?

  • 2
    I have a strong suspicion that the difference is how strict the community is about gender separation in all circumstances.
    – Double AA
    Commented Mar 28, 2012 at 5:46
  • 2
    A story about Rabbi Yaakov Kaminetzky IIRC. A chosson asked the Rav who should take him under the chuppah. The Rav did not want to answer. The chosson asked how the Rav’s children were married. Rav Yaakov said that he did whatever the parents on the other side wanted. It seems that bein odom lechaveiro takes precedence! Commented Mar 29, 2012 at 21:39
  • @ShmuelBrin. At the wedding of the Lubavitcher Rebbe, the previous Rebbe walked his daughter down with his wife, Nechama Dina. When did minhag charade change?
    – Mark A.
    Commented Dec 5, 2016 at 4:08
  • One reason could be that the shushvinin are not necessarily the parents these days, and if not the parents (or grandparents), it would be a negia problem to have both members of the couple take his arms.
    – SAH
    Commented May 29, 2017 at 8:11

1 Answer 1


It is interesting to note that the Ramo (in Hilchos Aveilus! Yore Deah 391:3) brings the custom that two men take the Choson to the Chupa.

  • 2
    And IIRC he somewhere mentions shoshvinos walking the kala, which would have to mean two women. (The question sought reasons. I suppose an early source arguably qualifies.)
    – msh210
    Commented Apr 3, 2012 at 6:55
  • This barely answers the question, I think. You've cited a source, and I guess the "reason" would be to follow an old minhag. But, there's probably more to it. I'm placing a bounty.
    – DanF
    Commented Dec 2, 2016 at 14:19
  • That is why I started off with "It is interesting to note" which indicates it will not satisfy the complete question at hand. The reason I brought the source is because the caption reads " Who should walk the Chosson and Kallah to the Chupa?" Commented Dec 4, 2016 at 3:33

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