Inspired by this question:

If one receives a friend request on Facebook, especially from another Jew, is it permissible to reject them?

On the one hand, "חברים כל ישראל" - "All Jews are friends"; but on the other hand, it is non-beneficial to be socially connected to someone you don't know well.

This question is Purim Torah and is not intended to be taken completely seriously. See the Purim Torah policy.


5 Answers 5


In Pirkei Avos (1:15), we find clear instructions regarding this matter:

הוי מקבל את כל האדם בספר פנים

One should accept all persons on Facebook.

  • Really it is b'seiver panim (yafos). Feb 28, 2012 at 5:17
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    @Adam this is Purim Torah. I'm sure, with a little creativity Yafoth can be worked in.
    – Seth J
    Feb 28, 2012 at 14:26
  • I know it is Purim Torah. I am just informing people who might not know from where it originates. Mar 1, 2012 at 6:40

Avos says:

יהושע בן פרחיה אומר עשה לך רב וקנה לך חבר והוי דן את כל האדם לכף זכות

Y'hoshua ben Prachya says: Make yourself much and buy yourself a friend; and be judging everyone toward the scalepan of merit.

"Buy yourself a friend" means that you should only be friends with someone on a social-networking site for which you pay a membership fee. In fact, since he says you should first "make yourself much", the membership must be expensive. Since Facebook does not (yet) have paid membership available, it is inappropriate to become Facebook friends with anyone.

You might think that you should therefore look down upon someone who tries to become Facebook friends with you; hence the end of the statement, "be judging everyone toward the scalepan of merit".

As always, consult your rabbi for practical halacha rather than relying on what you read on this site.

  • 1
    Can you meet the requirement by joining a fraternity? Feb 28, 2012 at 6:26
  • @DanielbenNoach, I guess it would depend on whether there are dues and how much the dues come to. Again, as always, CYLOR.
    – msh210
    Feb 28, 2012 at 15:49

There's a famous concept that:

"כל ישראל ערבים זה לזה" - all Jews are 'crows' to one another.

The medrash makes a derasha: "just like crows can congregate with nothing more than their voices, so too, the proper way for Jews to attempt being reunited is through tefila and not through Facebook."

(This derasha is probably more well known for the problems it causes in terms of basar shenitalem min ha'ayin.)


If you have friends (you are a "Chaver"), then you could friend him only if he has friends (if he is a Chaver). (For more information, see here)

To get friends, one would have to keep away from people who are not friends, as they may be impure (and the Gemara in Kiddushin says that when families fight, it is because one of them may be a Mamzer).

  • 5
    Except on Chol Hamoed, because then הכתוב עשאן כולן חברים (Chagigah 26a/Niddah 34a).
    – Alex
    Feb 28, 2012 at 2:05

The Mitzva on Purim is Ad D'Lo Yada, and therefore you should not accept him as you are not supposed to know him. As a true friend he will understand.

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