"It would have been better if they had not been born" - why?

Question

I have seen the phrase "it would have been better if they had not been born" in regards to lots of sins.

Here is a sample.

I notice that this phrase can often be used in isolation, without any explanation. This guides me towards curiosity.

• What are the origins of this phrase
• Does it have a specific meaning or is it context based?
• Why is it used so often without explaining itself. Ok, it would have been better to not have been born, but why? What was it like before and why is it now worse? In what way?
• Why are we, against our will, put into a situation that could (so easily) end us up in a worse position than had we never been put into that situation? _{p.s. Why does it seem most of the time, it seems to be a phrase used when there are two outcomes, it is the failure state: a man should do x and he will be rewarded y, but if not it would have been better had he not been born}
• Is there any good news for the (seemingly many) unsuccessful ones, who "should never have been born"?

So, this question is regarding the phrase ונוח להם שלא נבראו and equivalent, & it seeks an answer that is able to deal with explaining it as properly and fully as possible. I suspect there probably is some source out there somewhere that tries to do so, but will accept whatever I can get that helps with the above questions regarding this specific phrase.

Answer 1

תָּנוּ רַבָּנַן שְׁתֵּי שָׁנִים וּמֶחֱצָה נֶחְלְקוּ בֵּית שַׁמַּאי וּבֵית הִלֵּל הַלָּלוּ אוֹמְרִים נוֹחַ לוֹ לְאָדָם שֶׁלֹּא נִבְרָא יוֹתֵר מִשֶּׁנִּבְרָא וְהַלָּלוּ אוֹמְרִים נוֹחַ לוֹ לְאָדָם שֶׁנִּבְרָא יוֹתֵר מִשֶּׁלֹּא נִבְרָא נִמְנוּ וְגָמְרוּ נוֹחַ לוֹ לְאָדָם שֶׁלֹּא נִבְרָא יוֹתֵר מִשֶּׁנִּבְרָא עַכְשָׁו שֶׁנִּבְרָא יְפַשְׁפֵּשׁ בְּמַעֲשָׂיו וְאָמְרִי לַהּ יְמַשְׁמֵשׁ בְּמַעֲשָׂיו ערובין יג ע"ב

The Rabbis taught: For two and a half years, Beis Shammai and Beis Hillel debated. One said that it would have been better (or maybe easier) for a man not to have been created, and the other said that it was better that he was created. They concluded that it would be better that he were not created, but now that he is created, he should examine his deeds; and some say, he should feel his deeds. Eruvin 13b

It seems to me that one of these schools of thought held that being given the opportunity to cling to Hashem is "worth it," even for someone that fell away from Him, while the other held that for someone that fell away from Him, the theoretical (but unutilized) opportunity to cling to Him has basically expired worthless. They concluded that the second approach was more correct, but noted that this only applies once a man is dead. While he is still alive, he can improve his deeds with mussar and cheshbon hanefesh, and he should do so.

As for the sources that apply the phrase "נח לו שלא נברא" to people that commit various sins, I think that they are pointing out that such people are indeed throwing away the opportunity of life, and we can apply to them the final decision that he would have been better off had he never been created

The good news for such people is that so long as they're alive, they can turn things around. And even after they're dead, it is possible that some merit will be found for them. For example, perhaps their children or grandchildren will do better, and this will redound to their benefit.

Answer 2

I note that the phrase used is frequently:

רָאוּי לוֹ כְּאִלּוּ לֹא בָּא לָעוֹלָם -- It would have been better FOR HIM if he had never come into the world.

I see the key word as "for him", not necessarily for the world -- meaning: To spare him pain. (E.g., in Chagigah 2:1)