1

Everywhere around me I keep seeing couples getting divorced and separated. I keep hearing tales from work/university colleagues and family members having marital problems which often have led to divorce. I've seen many of my former classmates now as single parents and I myself come from a single parent household. I've personaly never been married and don't have any kids and I wonder is it probably better for us nowadays to remain single instead of getting married?

5
  • 1
    Men are biblically obligated to marry and reproduce. For women, see here.
    – shmosel
    Commented Jun 3 at 23:29
  • Thank you for pointing that link to me as I had not seen it, however it still doesn't answer my question. I get all what we get from these sources commanding men to marry, however it does not speak about what is life for an unmarried man and if it is necesarily more peaceful than for a married one? Commented Jun 4 at 1:42
  • Maybe instead of giving up on marriage, consider that there's a secondary problem. Marriage can and should work, when it doesn't this doesn't mean marriage is the flaw, but could be many other things. It could be the culture you are embedded in, lack of proper Torah foundation, or even a problem with you perception (you could have seen a disproportionate amount of failed marriages for any number of reasons, including bad luck!)
    – Rabbi Kaii
    Commented Jun 4 at 10:42
  • As to your point about peace. The term "Shalom bayit" is one of the most important in all of Torah. It's used in the context of marriage only, not singlehood. It's actually discussed in the sources that marriage is meant to be hard in this sense, for various reasons. For example, a spouses (especially the wife) need to be able to completely trust each other, and one of the main ways this is accomplished is through arguments. When they show each other their worst, and nobody leaves, that produces supernatural levels of trust, WELL worth it! Marriage is The Test of life, it is meant to be hard..
    – Rabbi Kaii
    Commented Jun 4 at 10:46
  • ..but the point of a test is to draw down and expose the inherent goodness. Peace, in and of itself, is hardly worth very much. A person who is lonely is in serious danger of depression, illness, and madness. Being at peace doesn't help with that at all. It's much better to get married, and go through the difficulties, and produce peace in that setting, and then one will truly apprecate the goodness of peace. I could go on and on, but the question is closed. May I recommend watching anything by Rabbi Manis Friedman on youtube about marriage, and you will see much more what I am saying
    – Rabbi Kaii
    Commented Jun 4 at 10:49

1 Answer 1

3

The Talmud and the Midrash make the Jewish view very clear:

Any man who does not have a wife lives without goodness, without help, without happiness, without blessing, and without atonement... Even without peace... He is not even a whole human being... And there are those who say: He even diminishes the Divine Image. [Genesis Rabbah 17:2; Yevamot 62b]

1
  • And yet I have seen that single men appear to have more peace as they do not typically engage in "arguments" with a wife, so why is it that the Talmud say an unmarried man doesn't have peace when he clearly does not have anyone to argue with in the first place? Commented Jun 4 at 1:39

Not the answer you're looking for? Browse other questions tagged .