According to Pirkei D'Rabbi Eliezer (Ch. 16), a groom is similar to a king (Chosson domeh lmelech).

The Pirkei D'Rabbi Eliezer lists a few points where we see similarities:

  • We praise a groom during the week of festivities

  • The groom wears honorable clothing

  • The groom must feast

  • He may not go out unaccompanied

  • His face shines like the sun.

We find this parallel to a king is taken further by later sources. For example, some Rishonim source the prohibition for a groom to work from the fact that he is like a King.

My question is: Why? What is it about a groom that is comparable to a king?

  • 3
    I don't really understand your question. The source you cited clearly states five different ways with which a groom is comparable and therefore similar to a king. Can you please elaborate on what exactly you are trying to figure out? Are you looking for additional similarities? Something else? Apr 2 at 12:58
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    It seems from Deuteronomy's comment (and the 3 upvotes it received) that you don't understand there to be an intrinsic connection between a king and a groom; they are merely similar in these 5 points. I maintain [albeit mainly from other sources; I concede that the Pirkei D'R Eliezer could be understood that way] that there seems to be an intrinsic connection - a groom is considered like a King, THEREFORE all these similarities exist.
    – chortkov2
    Apr 2 at 17:16
  • 3
    Both imagine they have all sorts of power but will be disabused of this notion in time. Apr 2 at 17:28
  • 1
    The Poskim (for example, see Chelkas Mechokek and Beis Shmuel to Rema EH 64:1. There are many other examples) understand that there is an inherent similarity which is the cause for the halachos, not that the halachos themselves are the similarity.
    – chortkov2
    Apr 2 at 19:37
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    Editing to include your interpretation of said poseqim and the premise you believe that emerges from that would improve and strengthen your question. Apr 2 at 21:15

1 Answer 1

  1. הקב"ה is called מלך.

  2. He is also called a groom because throughout the Galut he is constantly preparing to marry the שכינה.

  3. Therefore הקב"ה is both a king and a groom.


1: You will find this anywhere (כתבי ארי וזוהר) but I looked for an exact source and found it in

רגל ישרה למרצ"א: פתיחות א. מלך ב. הקב"ה

2: עץ חיים

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