5

What is the din of eating a talking animal? E.g. Bilaam's donkey, the Nachash (if he hypothetically was still uncursed at the time), Sonic the Hedgehog, etc?

Kashrut aside (e.g. a non-Jew, or when no other food is avaible, etc), is it allowed? What would be the halachot?

This question is Purim Torah and is not intended to be taken completely seriously. See the Purim Torah policy.

14
  • 5
    Well presumably the first thing would be to remove their vocal cords! Reminds me of the joke...A man called his parents the day after Xmas: “Did you get the parrot I sent you as a present?” “Yes, Son, and it was delicious.” “WHAT! You ate the parrot — it was a very special bird. It spoke five languages.” “Well then Son, why didn’t it say something?”
    – Dov
    Mar 14 at 16:25
  • @Dov haha hilarious! Just to clarify, I mean animals with dibbur (chai medaber), rather than sicha
    – Rabbi Kaii
    Mar 14 at 16:33
  • I realised that...
    – Dov
    Mar 14 at 16:34
  • 1
    @ElonMusk I think it would just be a monetary violation. Pay the animal (or its owner) back for its meat. Maybe double if you sneaked up on it and there were witnesses.
    – MichoelR
    Mar 14 at 23:48
  • 1
    @RabbiKaii In The Silver Chair, there's a scene where the characters are horrified to learn that they're eating meat from a talking animal. (So the mythology is that while it's okay to eat “dumb” animals, eating talking animals is forbidden.)
    – adam.baker
    Mar 16 at 7:31

5 Answers 5

13

The fourth perek of Chullin is called בהמה המקשה, the animal who asks. Since the perek is about טריפות, it would seem that in the event that none of those טריפות apply, even an asking animal is permitted. In my opinion, this is a ראיה שאין עליו תשובה.

Though, if you ask a cow, it might have a different opinion. See Bava metzia, perek השואל את הפרה.

6

My mother always says no talking while eating, so perhaps we can infer that while the animal is talking it is assur to eat it.

1
  • 2
    "No talking while I'm eating you."
    – Barmar
    Mar 15 at 14:41
5

According to the Bible all animals have always talked, but today they don't happen to speak a human language.

Moshav Zekanim al haTorah (3:4)

"Behold all the Earth spoke one language"

According to Moshav Zeikenim all the animals spoke the same language as humans until the tower of Babel.

So the animals have been talking in human language since the garden all the way to Noah and his family. After the flood we were permitted to eat meat, but animals kept talking til the tower of Babel so it's safe to assume humans from Noah til the tower of Babel we were eating animals that talked to them.

Based on the Moshav Zekanim, all animals are still currently talking, they just happen to be using a language we don't understand. So any animal eaten today is still the eating of a talking animal. This is one of the many reasons I am a vegetarian.

2
  • 2
    Oh, they can talk. They just don't talk to us. The movie, "Zookeeper" puts it all right out in the open.
    – user34203
    Mar 15 at 3:05
  • @PaulWalker Thanks I hadn't made this clear enough so I made some edits
    – Aaron
    Mar 15 at 17:36
0

Most likely, no.

We have seen the button pushers; and a few animals uplifted beyond what they ought to have been able to obtain. Yet even the cat who mastered time is nothing compared to what OP seems to have in mind. At the moment the animal can discuss its very spirit, Eccl. 3:21 has been overturned.

This requires understanding. Ex. 12:49: "There shall be one law for the native and for the stranger who sojourns among you". You will find what I already know; there is no greater stranger than the alien mind of the talking animal. Since we have taken up the cause that it possesses a spirit; it too has a law; and we must find it. On a search, I have found an indirect reference to it; it is given in Ex. 21:28. To the animal, slaughtering the human is unlawful; therefore by Ex. 12:49, to the human, slaughtering the talking animal is unlawful.

That which has received the breath of God shall not be eaten.

-1

A foul-mouthed animal, if not already unclean for other reasons, might be made unclean by the corruption of its speech.

The two animals that speak in the account are the serpent and the donkey, neither of which are lawful to eat, even if they had not piped up.

Not the answer you're looking for? Browse other questions tagged .