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Lately I've been unhappy and without enthusiasm and desire in yiddishkeit and just unfulfilled. I'm having issues with just everything from not finding and getting answers to questions i need when i need them to always feeling alone and just by myself in this way of life learning torah and observing mitzvos also by myself. I've been wanting to try something new and experience something else see if it brings me joy i once had while i was very observant, i'm still very observant i daven 3 times a day (4 musaf on shabbos etc), keep shabbos etc but i'm just not happy due to always being alone and feeling alone in this lifestyle. I'm only worried that there will be consequences from HaShem if i do so. I look around and i see people enjoying life and trying new things and always having people to learn and vibe from and get along with, and i feel i'm always alone and just miserable just observing torah because its what is expected of me. I don't hate HaShem or his torah or Am Yisroel, but i feel a void and emptiness in me that's depriving me of joy and not fixing my loneliness in this path. I have not that amount of money to pay for online classes or tend yeshiva etc either so im basically alone in my living situation and stuck in this lifestyle i feel, just doomed to observing and learning torah all by myself.

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    Yiddishkeit is not optional if that's what you're asking. But it sounds like you need some personal guidance, which is not what this site is intended for. Please find someone to speak to.
    – shmosel
    Feb 19 at 23:19
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    Well for starters you’re not alone, you have us. But I suggest changing your friends and the people around you. Start making friends at shul and have meaningful conversations with them because you’ll probably find they’re experiencing similar issues as you Feb 19 at 23:21
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    In addition to the above, remember that "the grass is always looks greener on the other side". This is a powerful psychological reality, that we must be aware of, especially for yeitzer haras. Hashem puts us all with the right "grass" for us.
    – Rabbi Kaii
    Feb 20 at 0:49
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    This is a difficult situation. It is not clear if you live near a community, in which case you could speak to a rabbi or individuals who seem to you religious, balanced and fulfilled. Most often, the issues you describe are broader than religion, and it might be helpful to find wise friends to speak with. Regarding learning Torah, organizations such as Partners in Torah match you (for free) with people interested in learning with you (again, for free) and they might be helpful. Regarding your questions, try us! Many of us likely had similar questions and some might have found answers.
    – mbloch
    Feb 20 at 6:34

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