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My mom unfortunately passed away a few months ago and I've been working with my dad to finish the process of putting up the matzeivah. We've designed it to be exactly how she wanted. For her Hebrew name, we've used the spelling that she used all of her life (including on her ketubah). We're very happy with how this went.

My sister, OTOH is very upset with this. She believes that my mom spelled her name incorrectly her entire life. She wants the matzeivah to reflect the spelling that SHE believes is correct.

Yeah, it's a bad situation.

She now says that she read a book that claims if the name on the matzeivah is spelled incorrectly, then "the neshama has something over it and is tormented psychologically throughout eternity". (Frankly the whole thing sounds more Catholic than Jewish)

I'll add that my sister and her family are all very frum (my nephew is an Ultra-Orthodox rabbi).

Has anyone heard anything remotely related to this or can I safely file this one under "Bubba-Meisah"?

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  • judaism.stackexchange.com/questions/92446/…
    – אילפא
    Commented Feb 9 at 20:09
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    @אילפא Thanks for the response but not really relevant. It's not a biblical name so we can't look in the Torah to find the "correct spelling". But the spelling is not the issue here. The issue is whether a person is tormented throughout eternity because their name is misspelled on a monument.
    – Sander Smith
    Commented Feb 9 at 20:21
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    Try to resolve it peacefully. Discord among her family can't be good for her neshama.
    – Heshy
    Commented Feb 9 at 20:48
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    Welcome to MiYodeya Sander and thanks for this first question. Your question might be closed because this site is not a good place for personal questions. Those should be asked to a rabbi well-versed in the relevant laws who will ask questions on context and personal specifics to come to a good answer. This site can't substitute for this. Please don't let this deter you from coming back to learn with us.
    – mbloch
    Commented Feb 10 at 16:13
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    @PhilFreedenberg Thanks for your interest. It's a Yiddish name. For the spelling we used exactly what is on her Ketubah (seems completely reasonable). My sister found a Rabbi in NJ who thinks it should be spelled a different way. NONE OF THIS IS RELEVANT. What is relevant is whether or not someone's Neshama will be tormented psychologically throughout eternity because of a misspelling on their matzeivah. This concept does not fit into any Jewish ideas that I've ever encountered. Has anyone heard of anything like this?
    – Sander Smith
    Commented Feb 11 at 16:26

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