According to Halacha, is one generally obligated to have intimate relations with your spouse if they ask for it? A man is obligated to have it generally, but my question is, even if a man fulfills that duty, does he have to give more at his wife’s will? What about a wife’s obligation to her husband?

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    possible duplicate judaism.stackexchange.com/q/93653/759
    – Double AA
    Feb 2 at 17:27
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    The technical question is not invalid, but realistically this is not the way couples should reason in a healthy relationship.
    – Double AA
    Feb 2 at 17:28
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    Only if you shell out extra for the premium ketuba. Feb 2 at 23:50
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    Kitzur Shulchan Aruch 150:8 (in translation): "When a husband sees that his wife is enticing him, trying to please him, and beautifying herself in front of him, in order to attract his intention, he is obligated to be with her even if it is not the appointed time; and from such a union will come worthy children. However, if she demands it openly, she is a brazen woman, and she is considered like a harlot; and he is forbidden to keep her for a wife."
    – Tamir Evan
    Feb 3 at 16:48

1 Answer 1


For a halachic view see here:


For a spiritual view:

The gemara says that when Leah was assertive with Yaakov she merited to have a son who was a תלמיד חכם.

וְאִילּוּ גַּבֵּי לֵאָה כְּתִיב: ״וַתֵּצֵא לֵאָה לִקְרָאתוֹ וַתֹּאמֶר אֵלַי תָּבוֹא כִּי שָׂכוֹר שְׂכַרְתִּיךָ״, וּכְתִיב: ״וּמִבְּנֵי יִשָּׂשכָר יוֹדְעֵי בִינָה לַעִתִּים לָדַעַת מַה יַּעֲשֶׂה יִשְׂרָאֵל רָאשֵׁיהֶם מָאתַיִם וְכׇל אֲחֵיהֶם עַל פִּיהֶם״. While with regard to Leah, it is written: “And Leah went out to meet him, and said, You must come in to me, for indeed I have hired you with my son’s mandrakes” (Genesis 30:16). Her reward for demanding that Jacob fulfill the conjugal mitzva with her was the birth of Issachar, and it is written: “And of the children of Issachar, men who had understanding of the times, to know what Israel ought to do; the heads of them were two hundred, and all their brethren were at their commandment” (I Chronicles 12:33).


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