Noting that doing a positive action three times constitues a vow or something akin to a vow, what is the ideal way to tentatively take on a minhag (custom) or chumra (stringency)? Say a Sefardi is interested in growing and wearing peyot, and isn't sure still. They want to try it for a month or more.

What's the best way to do this? Stipulate from the start that this is non-binding (if so, how exactly)? Or take it on fully, and resort to hatarat nedarim (or whatever is needed) if they end up not wishing to proceed? Or something else?

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    Every year many say "I don't regret having done many good deeds only having accepted to do them in a language of neder shvua issur cherem konam shamta or arur"
    – Double AA
    Jan 9 at 13:16
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    The question is interesting but it seems your premise is that doing something for a month might obligate you going forward unless you do/say something. Could you source that?
    – mbloch
    Jan 9 at 16:03
  • does not doing it 3 times constitute the undoing of this chumra...?
    – bondonk
    Jan 10 at 14:57
  • Regarding the linked question ("What is the source for the idea that doing some good thing 3 times constitutes a vow?"): Doesn't David Kenner's answer there provide an answer to your question (at least vis-à-vis taking on a chumra/stringency)?
    – Tamir Evan
    Jan 10 at 19:23
  • @TamirEvan indeed it does! Thanks for pointing it out to me. I think this question could potentially be closed as a dupe for that reason?
    – Rabbi Kaii
    Jan 11 at 18:22

1 Answer 1


Before doing it, verbalize that you are doing it bli neder

See Shulchan Aruch Yoreh De’ah 214.1

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    Every time? Is this better than doing it properly and relying on hatarat nedarim?
    – Rabbi Kaii
    Jan 9 at 15:52
  • @RabbiK what is not proper about doing it without a neder?
    – Double AA
    Jan 9 at 16:44
  • @DoubleAA I meant doing it without bli neder in advance
    – Rabbi Kaii
    Jan 9 at 17:01
  • @RabbiK yes, and why is that "proper"
    – Double AA
    Jan 9 at 17:07
  • A source would greatly improve this answer
    – mbloch
    Jan 10 at 4:27

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