Mi Yodeya is a question and answer site for those who base their lives on Jewish law and tradition and anyone interested in learning more. It only takes a minute to sign up.
Sign up to join this community
Shulhan Aruch Even HaEzer 21 and 22 records the Halacha against men and women touching each other (especially Derech Hiba; whether it is Deorayta or Derabanan is a Mahloket Rishonim between Rambam and Ramban).
So my question is, how did Dawid Hamelech take a woman (Melachim 1:1-5) to comfort him and keep him warm when he wasn't married to her (as far as I know)?
The answer lies in the first verse of the same verses in 1 Kings quoted above.
"Now King David was old and stricken in years; and they covered him with clothes, but he could get no heat." (1 Kings 1:1)
David was an frail man at this point. He couldn't touch a woman "affectionately" (b'derech chiba) if he tried!
The fourth verse explicitly tells us that there was no romantic encounter between David and his live-in nurse.
"And the damsel was very fair; and she became a companion unto the king, and ministered to him; but the king knew her not." (1 Kings 1:4)
The law of nagia is the same today. No one thinks twice about a young woman, working in a nursing home, tending to an old, observant Jewish man. Yes, they touch. She might even give him a sponge bath, and see his private areas; but the vast majority of old men who can no longer bathe themselves, are also incapable of any intimate relations, forbidden or permitted.
Therefore, one cannot bring a proof from these verses that the laws of nagia were different then than they are now.
Not a complete answer, but here's what the Talmud (Sanhedrin 22A) says (Rashi brought in נrackets):
אמר רב שמן בר אבא בוא וראה כמה קשין גירושין שהרי דוד המלך התירו לו לייחד [עם אבישג ואע"פ שנאסר ייחוד של פנויה] ולא התירו לו לגרש [אחת מי"ח וישאנה]
R' Shaman bar Aba said: Come and See how harsh divorce is. They gave permission to King David to be alone [with Avishag, even though it was forbidden to be alone with an unmarried woman], but did not let him divorce [one of his 18 wives to marry her].
According to this, he had dispensation from "They" (which I'm assuming are the Rabbis of that time). It doesn't say why they gave this dispensation, but I'm guessing it was for health reasons.
I once heard a fascinating answer in the name of Rav Shimon Schwab: The Gemara in Shabbat (86) says that through battling one's yetzer hara, one becomes warmed up. David, however, says R' Schwab, had no Yetzer Hara ("velibi challal bekirbi") so he became cold since there was nothing to battle. Thus, the only way to re-warm him would be to arouse his yetzer hara again. Therefore, they brought a woman to stand in his room (which was allowed since Yichud was waived for David), but not to touch him (since, according to R' Schwab, Negiah would surely not be waived). The battle of seeing the woman in his room and making rationalizations, etc. would be the inner struggle which would help heat him up.
Rav Schwab adds that even though the Pasuk says "She will lie in your bosom," this was just the advice of the doctors to David, and David did not necessarily follow this advice.
