In what way is Yosef more of a nemesis to Esav?

Question

The gemara says in Bava Basra 123b that Yosef is the flame and "sitno shel Esav" and the one who befells Esav as the verse (Ovadia 1:18) says "bais Yosef lehava".

The same person says in midrash Tanchuma Vayichi that all descendants of Rachel are the fall of Esav, derived from a different verse.

So is Yosef in this way more than Binyamin?

What does being a "lehava" add? And if it adds, is it only adding it to Yosef or to all of Rachel's descendants?

The gemara says Yakov waited till Yosef was born to return and challenge Esav. How can it help Yakov if Yosef was only a child? What actually did happen the one time Esav met his nemesis Yosef?

Answer 1

I understand that all of Rachel's kids are the nemesis of Esav/Amalek. Yaakov waited for Yosef because he didn't need both. Binyamin's children are equal to Yosef (and are even all named after him [Rashi Gen 43:30]). Binyamin's descendants fought and attempted destroying Amalek. First Shaul with King Agag (I Shmuel 15:3-8) then Mordechai with Haman the Agagite (Esther 3:1, 8:11).

The one time Yosef actually met Esav, he bowed down to Esav (Breshit 33:7). The Ramban (Breshit 49:31) quotes Yosifon that on the way back from burying Yaakov, Yosef quarreled and fought with Esav's grandchild, Tzefo, captured him and his troops and took them as slaves.

Answer 2

According to Bereshis 49:6 and midrash Bereshis Rabba 75:12 Yosef is described as an ox, since based on Devarim 33:17 Yosef's descendant mashiyach ben Yosef will wage war against Eisav as the verse in Ovadia states. In other words Yosef is a replacement of Eisav (see comment here), who is described as a wild ox (Beit Olamim on Idra Rabba 130.2). Eisav represents betrayal of the Jewish cause, but not necessarily an enemy. A domesticated ox represents the one who works on his character, a wild ox does not. Yosef is a prototypical Jewish leader in Exile who helps leading his brothers with observance of mitzvos. Rabbi Moshe Eisenmann developed this idea in his book "The Riddle of the Bowing Moon: Reflections on Yosef Hatzadik & the Dreams That Set Our History in Motion". There is also a midrash Bereshis Rabba 99:2:

Joseph opposite the kingdom of Edom – this one has horns, and that one has horns. This one has horns – “the firstborn bull is his majesty” (Deuteronomy 33:17); and that one has horns – “and concerning the ten horns that were on its head” (Daniel 7:20). This one forsook licentiousness, and that one cleaves to licentiousness. This one was scrupulous regarding his father’s honor, and that one demeaned his father’s honor. [Joseph heeded his father and went to check on his brothers even though he knew they hated him] (Genesis 37:13–14). The nation of Edom descends from Esau, who said: “The days of mourning for my father will approach, and I will kill my brother Jacob” (Genesis 27:41). Thus, Esau was looking forward to his father dying so that he could kill Jacob. Of this one it is stated: “I fear God” (Genesis 42:18); of that one it is stated: “And he did not fear God” (Deuteronomy 25:18). Into whose hands will the kingdom [of Edom] fall? Into the hands of the one anointed for war, who comes from Joseph. [The messiah, son of Joseph.] Rabbi Pinḥas in the name of Rabbi Shmuel bar Naḥman: There is a tradition that Esau will fall only into the hands of Rachel’s descendants. That is what is written: “[Therefore, hear the schemes of the Lord that He has devised against Edom…] will the young of the flock not drag them?” (Jeremiah 49:20). Why does he call them the young of the flock? Because they are the youngest of the tribes.

Binyamin is described as a wolf (Bereshis 49:27) and naturally he is the main force in the fight against Amalek who is compared to a dog (Rashi on Shemos 17:8 quoting Midrash Tanchuma Yisro 3). Amalek is a part of Eisav that seeks destruction of Jewish people. The wolves have natural fear and awareness through which they perceive the surrounding world. By contrast, the dogs perceive everything in their domain with full familiarity. (see many articles on the web comparing wolves and dogs such as this one).