If somebody is intentionally rude or mean to you, you explain they are being rude, and they continue, are you allowed to speak lashon Harah about them to someone close?

For example, you are being bullied and called names by someone who you’ve warned about their behavior, are you allowed to speak negatively about that person?

If so, what are the parameters of it? Sources (preferably from the Chofetz Chaim), are always appreciated.

  • What good is accomplished by doing so?
    – Shalom
    Commented Nov 9, 2023 at 16:08

1 Answer 1


The Chofetz Chaim is strict before allowing someone to speak badly about others and lays out many conditions (see Sefer Chofetz Chaim, The Prohibition Against Lashon Hara, Principle 10, here summarized in artscroll's edition)

  • The speaker must witness the incident firsthand
  • He must be certain the perpetrator's actions were wrong
  • He must first rebuke the wrongdoer
  • He may not exaggerate the wrongdoing
  • His sole intent must be for toelet (see here where I explained which conditions should be met)
  • There must be no alternatives to correct the situation other than relating the incident
  • The wrongdoer may not be subjected to more harm than he deserves

If those conditions are met, probably a rare case, he describes in The Prohibition Against Rechilut, Principle 9, how to go about reporting on the wrongdoing, and includes more conditions there.


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