The Gemara says that

וא״ר חִסְדָא תּוּקְפָא בְבֵיתָא כִי קַרְיָא לְשוּמְשְמָא אִידִי וְְאִידִי בְאִיתְּתָא אֲבָל בְגַבְרָא לֵית לָן בָהּ

And Rav Chisda also said: Anger in a house is like a worm in the sesame plant. These statements refer to a woman, but in the case of a man there is no objection.

How is it that a woman who is angry is like a worm in a sesame but by a man it is ok?

Rambam in Hilchos Deos 2:3 writes:

אמרו חכמים הראשונים: כל הכועס כאילו עובד עבודת כוכבים

The early sages said: Anyone who gets angry, it’s as if he worshipped idolatry.

How can we reconcile the two of these?

  • 5
    The Gemara isn't discussing whether it's ok. It's describing the effect on the household. See Rashi.
    – shmosel
    Nov 23, 2022 at 5:09
  • 1
    I read in Garden of Peace the exact opposite - the mother's anger is nowhere near as damaging as the fathers. Children instinctively know that mothers have more heart than their fathers, so when a father loses it, it's far more terrifying for the kids.
    – Rabbi Kaii
    Nov 23, 2022 at 14:48


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