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If one comes in agreement with something mentally in regards to doing or not doing something are they making a vow?

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Other than צדקה nedarim are not valid when made in thought only. Regarding Tzedaka it is a machlokes see shulchan aruch, choshen mishpat 212:8 and Rema, yoreh deah 358:13 . Per the mishna Berurah the Mechaber is also machmir (see mishna berura 694:6)

Also see -

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No, there is a halachic concept called “devarim shebalev ainam devarim”-roughly “deutoronomies of the heart are not deutoronomies”, meaning that all vows must be verbalised as a general rule.

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    That's a hilarious translation
    – Double AA
    Commented Oct 7, 2022 at 20:43
  • Thank you, I debated whether or not to do it, but decided to go for it. Commented Oct 7, 2022 at 21:16

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