Personal story & question. Signed up just to ask this. I'm a non-Jew (that's why I'm posting this on Shabbat) and I've been learning about Judaism for the last couple of years or so. There isn't much reliable learning material in my native language. So I have to learn everything online. I read the whole Chumash with Rashi's commentary on chabad website (because I couldn't afford the physical book), and Mesilat Yesharim on dafyomireview website. And I've listened to hundreds of hours of shiurim on youtube. And I read every Q&A on torasavigdor website, and I even got involved with kiruv. Then a rabbi gifted me an ArtScroll Stone Ed. Chumash and I'm on page 675 right now.
My question is this: Right now I'm reading Sefer Vayikra and I'm forcing myself to read it. I don't feel like it's relevant to me. Is it my yetzer hara or should I continue reading it? I mean it's not just the Chumash. Most of Judaism doesn't apply to me, that's for sure. BUT I must say that thanks to all my mussar and hashkafah studies (and thanks to Hashem obviously) I became a much better person (bli ayin hara)😊, I can't deny that . Should I continue learning Torah? I try very hard to find an alternative to Torah but I fail everytime. It's mamash ingrained in my soul. But I feel like most of it is not relevant to me. Also I got no problems with Jews being Am HaNivchar, etc. but it makes me feel weird that I'm not a member of the nation I support... Any advice?