If you overhear someone talking about you, “he just got into a car accident, or “his wife just got into a car accident,” and it’s not technically lashon hara since it’s not technically negative. Yet, I’m very private and I’m deeply offended that people would mutter whisper about my life, not for practical value, but because it’s “interesting.” Why should they care? Mind your own business. It seems like this situation would fall under the rubric of “gossip” (I.e. talking about others) but would not fall under the halachic rubric of lashon hara or rechilut. Surely Halacha would encourage the best and highest middah of not needlessly chattering about others, no?

  • If you know someone does not appreciate something, then it is proper not to do it, under ואהבת לרעך כמוך. But they won't know unless you tell them. It might help you to reframe these situations as: "These people care about me, and they want to know how I'm doing."
    – N.T.
    Commented Jul 24, 2021 at 0:32

1 Answer 1


Statements such as "he just got into a car accident" are forbidden. especially if they suggest the driver might not have been careful, either

  • because they are lashon hara per se which amongst its many categories has "any statement that belittles a fellow Jew" and "statements that can cause embarrassment"
  • or because they are avak lashon hara, i.e., statements that, while not directly insulting or belittling, imply the existence of negative information about the subject

As such, halacha prohibits such statements and you are right to be offended by them.

Source: R Avrohom Ehrman's The laws of interpersonal relationships, pp. 38 and 160

You must log in to answer this question.

Not the answer you're looking for? Browse other questions tagged .