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Putting all jokes (and Purim Torah) aside, a person successfully demonstrated cooking both steak and chicken using a machine that slaps the meat continuously (video here). Albeit they claimed it tasted very chewed up, it was still edible and slightly good. Here and here are some more articles about doing so.

As far as Halacha is concerned, what is the status of such meat? May a non-Jew "cook" meat for a Jew this way? May someone "beat" raw meat on Shabbos and "cook" it (assuming they didn't move it, and it was done manually)? Does the concept of cooking include non-thermal methods?

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R Daniel Braude (Learn Shabbos, pp. 120ff) writes that it is only cooking if using a heat source and if it is the normal way of cooking. Since "meat slapping" doesn't have a heat source and is not the normal way to cook, it wouldn't be prohibited. This of course assumes no one turns on the machine on Shabbat.

Specifically, he writes

  • The Torah prohibition of cooking is transgressed by using fire and those things that derive their heat from fire because that is the normal way to cook. However any heat source that gets red-hot is also considered fire
  • Cooking under the sun is permitted, as this kind of cooking is not normal and therefore not called cooking in a Halachic sense (but Chazal prohibited cooking using anything that derives its heat from the sun as it is very similar to something that derives its heat from the fire)
  • A microwave could theoretically be permitted (ignoring electricity for the moment) as it does not actually have a heat source. However it is prohibited since it is (now) the normal way to cook
  • The prohibition of cooking only applies when the heat is capable of causing the food to become yad soledes bo

Of course, consult your rabbi before implementing anything you learn here.

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