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Cookie Monster loves cookies. So what does a Jewish cookie monster do during Pesach, when cookies are Chametz?


This question is Purim Torah and is not intended to be taken completely seriously. See the Purim Torah policy.

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    Cookies are matza ashira not chametz – Double AA Feb 17 at 3:51
  • @doubleaa doesn't that depend on the recipe? For that matter some are gebrochts. – Heshy Feb 17 at 12:43
  • @Heshy most cookies have no water added, most are mixed and baked within a short time frame, and many others are set in the fridge. Sure you could find the right chumras to make a few "safek" chametz, but anyone with any experience baking knows none of those doughs have fermented to any meaningful degree even if common practice is not to trust our senses – Double AA Feb 17 at 13:11
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    @Meir Nah, they don't sit in water. They are very lightly shpritzed. None of them crack. Another example of we don't trust our senses to see that they are clearly not sprouted or fermented even after so much time. Millers don't want to mill sprouted wheat, cracked wheat, or fermented wheat. It's a highly controlled process. (Not to mention pretty sterile. The estimate of 18 minutes to ferment, which may be a bad girsa and was meant to be 72-90 minutes, was assuming the unhygenic world they lived in then where wild yeast was more plentiful. Sourdough starters take days to grow now.) – Double AA Feb 17 at 17:03
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    ARAM-RAM-RAM ARAM-RAM-RAM... ARAMI OVED AVI! – Shalom Feb 18 at 2:37
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enter image description here

We have photographic evidence what the answer is...

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    עוגיות מצות כי לא חמץ – Double AA Feb 18 at 2:52
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    Image Source?.. – Joshua Feb 18 at 17:34
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    Sefer HaMuppetim, you've never read it? – Josh K Feb 18 at 19:05
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Fortunately, Cookie Monster has addressed this very question at length.

Mem is for macaroon, or that what I believe    
Mem is for macaroon, or that what I believe    
Mem is for macaroon, or that what I believe    
Oh, macamaca Mem der ershter briv

Me eat them on Pesach, when Chomez contraband    
It no make a difference if Streit’s or Geffen brand    
Me eat the cardboard canister, that not what makers planned    
Oh, macamaca Mem der ershter briv

Me makpid on shiurim, just like the chocham ben    
Instead of two kezeitzim me gobble nine or ten    
But everything put in my mouth just spill back out again    
Oh, macamaca Mem der ershter briv    

To “all who are hungry” me happy to explain    
Me eat up all the macaroons but me still have some chrein    
Me soak them in the yayin, for they not made of grain    
Oh, macamaca Mem der ershter briv

Me finish them by Chatzois, a little bit before    
On middle days of Pesach, me go back to the store    
And that way on the final days me still have plenty more    
Oh, macamaca Mem der ershter briv

-Cookie Monster

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    Bravo. Wow. That made my day, thank you. – Shalom Feb 18 at 22:08
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The title "cookie" monster is really just a conveninece. In fact, his real name is the "Kof K" Monster and people take the letters kh and K and pronounce them as "cookie". So he eats whatever food is supervised by the Kof K, year-round.

Another theory has it that his name is actually the "K k'mon d'seter", as in "kosher, like the Mon which is hidden" so he eats things like Mon. And we all know that the food that can take on the flavor or form of anything that the eater wishes is tofu. So he is Sephardic.

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A cookie need not be Chametz. The stores sell many Pesachdige cookies that are made with potato starch or almond flour. A Jewish Cookie Monster eats cookies that are Kosher for Passover.

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  • Is Cookie Monster makpid on gebrochts? Pashtus he could be wearing a blue shtreimel and nobody could tell one way or the other. – Shalom Feb 18 at 14:47
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See Shabbos 30b

עתידה ארץ ישראל שתוציא גלוסקאות וכלי מילת

When mashiach comes, Eretz Yisrael will grow cakes and clothes.

So let's say that Eretz Yisrael grows a cake on Pesach, is this chametz? If you say chametz is chametz because the dough fermented, this is not chametz. If you say chametz is chametz because it is chametz, then this is chametz.

This is lichorah a machlokess in the first mishna in Beitza

בֵּית שַׁמַּאי אוֹמְרִים: שְֹאוֹר בְּכַזַּיִת וְחָמֵץ בְּכַכּוֹתֶבֶת. וּבֵית הִלֵּל אוֹמְרִים: זֶה וָזֶה בְּכַזַּיִת.

According to Beis Shammai the leavening agent has a stricter halachah because it is the leavening that creates the cheftza of chametz. According to Beis Hillel is doesn't, because chametz is chametz regardless of how it was created.

Since the halachah will be like Beis Shammai when mashiach comes it turns out that chametz is only chametz when dough was leavened. Therefore if Eretz Yisrael grows cakes, you may eat them on Pesach.

Since the cookies that the Cookie Monster eats are spontaneously generated from the Cookie Tree this will also be permissible when mashiach comes, but in the meantime the Cookie Monster will have to starve.

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    Just like Siri's prophecy – Refoel Chalk Feb 22 at 18:07
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There is an opinion amongst the later commentaries that the Cookie Monster was actually the Golem of Prague.

He only survived for one Pesach, after which he died (dramatically) due to chametz deprivation and argyria.

Some devout believers, await his return as the messiah...

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    lol, a downvote for a PTIJ, o dear. – bondonk Feb 21 at 8:48
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In my house we frown on baking with matza products, and in general dislike "pesach versions" of recipes. Instead, Cookie Monster should look for recipes that never had hametz in them to begin with, such as almond-flour date-raspberry bars and flourless chocolate tortes.

If Cookie Monster eats kitniyot, there are also many peanut butter based recipes.

(Note: opinions vary on whether peanuts are permitted on Pesach; for example the OU says "In Europe different communities had different customs about peanuts. Some considered them to be kitniyot; while others ate peanuts on Passover.")

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  • Peanut butter in kitniyot? – Ze'ev misses Monica Feb 23 at 18:18
  • @Ze'evmissesMonica - edited to clarify, thanks. – arp Feb 24 at 3:37
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    He can eat peanuts if he eats kitniyot, or if he's a Litvak. (Litvaks ate peanuts on Pesach.) But his haircut likely won't fit in with the Litvak crowd. They're afraid he's hiding a shtreimel in there somewhere. – Shalom Feb 24 at 11:27
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Very simple. He eats cookies made from Matzah flour. It's similar to Matzah ball but sweet.

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