I am not a very knowledgeable Jew. I am the product of a mixed marriage (Mom is Jewish/Dad is not). However, I was raised in a Jewish household. Over the years I have leaned more towards observance than non-observance. This is much to my parents chagrin. What if my parents want me to remain a secular Jew and just get married and remain secular. Am I obligated to honor those wishes or should I follow my own path?


  • Hi @chanan and welcome to Mi Yodeya. It is important to note that in such a sensitive situation you should seek guidance from a competent Rabbinic authority as one has to tread carefully when potentially upsetting one's parents. There are exceptions to the rule but I would advise you first speak to a Rav.
    – Dov
    Nov 11, 2020 at 17:18
  • איש אמו ואביו תיראו ואת שבתתי תשמרו אני יהוהLev 19:3
    – Double AA
    Nov 11, 2020 at 17:23
  • For specifics, please consult your local rabbinical leader, but as DoubleAA alludes to, the commentary of Rashi on Lev 19:3 ("AND MY SABBATHS...") gives an answer sefaria.org/Leviticus.19.3?lang=en&with=Rashi&lang2=en
    – rosends
    Nov 11, 2020 at 17:27
  • Just wishing you continued success in your journey, and I hope your parents can accept your desire for growth.
    – N.T.
    Nov 11, 2020 at 19:44
  • It is similar to them asking you not to keep shabbos, eat nonkosher food, rob a bank, or go to a church. None of those actions are allowed even if your parents pretend that respect for parents should allow you to do them. Nov 12, 2020 at 2:25

1 Answer 1


Its learned out from vayikra 19:3 that if your parents tell you to violate the Torah you have no obligation to listen to them. (Kiddushin 30b)

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