Although there is certainly a wide range of 'customs' regarding this question, why do some Orthodox communities skip the wife's first name in invitations saying:

"Mr. and Mrs. [Husband First and Last Name] invite you to..."

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    As you said -- some think it's more "tznius" that way. (BTW R' Chaim Brisker wasn't bothered by this, his kids' invitations were signed "Chaim veLifsha Soloveichik.") People have all sorts of interesting ideas about "tznius." – Shalom Jun 16 '20 at 16:01
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    There's a Tzitz Eliezer in which the widow of a rosh yeshiva embroidered a Paroches and donated it to the yeshiva, it said "donated by Rebbetzin so-and-so"; but some didn't want to put it up, as why should everyone in the yeshiva have to see a woman's name by the Aron Kodesh? R' Waldenberg read those people the riot act and insisted they put it up. – Shalom Jun 16 '20 at 16:03
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    It's not only Orthodox Jewish communities. It's a slightly older-fashioned or conservative way of writing a couple's names, common also among non-Jews. – msh210 Jun 16 '20 at 16:19
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    (continuation of my previous comment) see e.g. – msh210 Jun 16 '20 at 16:23
  • There probably isn't a formal reason behind this. Probably just others copying others. – robev Jun 16 '20 at 16:58

In discussing why the bas kol says 'bas ploni to ploni' instead of the woman's name, the Ben Ish Chai (Sotah 2a) writes

והנה מקשים למה בזכר מזכיר שמו ובנקבה לא הזכיר שמה? ונראה לי בס"ד דהנקבה היא דין והזכר רחמים ולכן כוחות הדין נאחזים בנקבה יותר מן הזכר ולכן המזיקין והשדים נדבקים בנקבה יותר כידוע ועל כן לא הזכירה שמה כדי שלא יהיו המזיקין והשדים אשר ישמעון דברי בת קול מכירים בה ויתעוררו לרדוף להדבק בה מה שאין כן בזכר אין חשש פן בהזכרת שמו יתעוררו וירדפו להדבק בו. - A woman's name is considered din and a man's name is considered rachamim. Therefore, the powers of din grab onto the woman more than a man, thus the damaging forces attach themselves onto her more than him. When the damaging forces hear the bas kol, they may recognize her name and pursue the woman to attach themselves onto her. On the other hand, the man has no concern for the bas kol mentioning his name and those pursuing forces to attach themselves to him.

ובני ידידי כבוד הרב יעקב נר"ו תירץ דלאו אורח ארעא שתזכיר בת קול שם הנקבה ולכן העלימה שמה וזכרה אותה על שם אביה - It's not the way of the world for a bas kol to mention the name of a woman. Therefore it doesn't say her name, rather the name of her father.

Although the first answer might not apply to public announcements outside of a Heavenly bas kol, perhaps the "way of the world" answer still applies in certain communities. Therefore, those communities would feel it is still the proper derech eretz not to mention their wife's name publicly, while others feel the way of the current world is fine with that.


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