We are a Conservative family. We know Hebrew well, but are unfamiliar with some of the religious nomenclature.

I'm quite new to the Shadchan scene. My daughter is looking to get married, and she asked me to accompany her to a local shadchan (matchmaker.) My daughter is quite flexible in the type of husband she seeks.

The shadchan suggested that she meet a ישיבה בחור. To me, that means a "chosen seating".

What on earth is the Shadchan talking about? Did she mean that she wants her to sit in a certain place, go to a specific fancy restaurant or theater with someone where they have special seats for dates? What is this "chosen seating" that the shadchan means?

This question is Purim Torah and is not intended to be taken completely seriously. See the Purim Torah policy.

  • 3
    does she not want to meet one of the chosen people? Go where they sit! – rosends Mar 3 '20 at 23:23
  • Obviously the Shadchan assumes she's had a prearranged marriage. – DonielF Mar 3 '20 at 23:33
  • There are conservative shadchanim? – user6591 Mar 3 '20 at 23:43
  • @user6591 While we are Conservative (for this example), daughter is more religious. Shadchanut is extremely complex. I think the average person would rather be downing aspirins than doing this job. – DanF Mar 4 '20 at 14:44
  • @DanF :) Hatzlacha rabba. (Hope my curiosity didn't offend) – user6591 Mar 4 '20 at 14:53

Quick grammar lesson: ישיבה is a feminine noun, so it takes feminine adjectives. So "chosen seating" would be "ישיבה בחורה", but you said your daughter is seeking a husband, so that wouldn't work.

Rather, when the shadchan recommended a "ישיבה בחור", he meant a "sit-down in a hole", i.e. a meeting in a front-line trench. Nothing gets people married faster than war, as is well known, and the shadchan wants to increase his success rate.

The problem is that you're a Conservative family. If you were Liberal, you'd know the words of Joan Baez, Pete Seeger, Phil Ochs, and their ilk, and realize that war is not the answer.

  • Good going! ;-) – DanF Mar 4 '20 at 2:25

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