PTIJ: What tea will there be during the Geulah? [closed]

Question

Every time we daven Shmonei Esreh, we say the following:

וְתֶה חֱזֶינָה עֵינֵינוּ בְּשׁוּבְךָ לְצִיּון בְּרַחֲמִים

Translation: And Tea shall see our eyes when You shall return to Tzion with mercy.

Apparently, in the time of the Geulah, there's going to be a kind of tea. What kind of tea will it be?

At first I thought it might be Earl Grey, because that's mentioned many times in the Gemara. For example (Kiddushin 80a):

דליתא דמי רובא וחזקה רובא עדיף אר"ל

Translation: When there isn't most of the money and most of the chazakah, it's preferable to use Earl.

And also in the midrash (Otzar Hamidrashim, midrash l'olam 5:9):

אר״ל דבר זה כתוב בתורה ושנוי בנביאים ומשולש בכתובים

Translation: Earl, this thing is written in the Torah and again in the Prophets and a third time in the Ketuvim.

But then I thought that maybe Earl Grey was only the tea of Galut Edom and the Geulah is deserving of its own tea. So maybe Chai? As it is said in the Yom Kippur Machzor:

חַי וְקַיָּם נוֹרָא וּמָרוֹם וְקָדוֹשׁ:

Translation: Chai and existing, terrible and lofty and holy.

And this might serve as a parable to the eternity and greatness of Am Yisrael. But why would we have terrible tea in the Geulah? I thought everything was supposed to be good during the Geulah. So I'm stumped. Which tea is it and why?

And on the more kabbalistic side of things, is this mysterious tea a gilgul of the Tea Party tea that brought on the American Geulah in 1776 (אמעריקאן רעבאלושיען בלע"ז)?

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This question is Purim Torah and is not intended to be taken completely seriously. See the Purim Torah policy.

Answer 1

While it's not obvious which type of tea we will be drinking during the redemption, I can tell you that it will not be served to you by the prophetess' mother. As Yeshayahu tells us in reference to the redemption:

אֶת-קֻבַּעַת כּוֹס חֲמָתִי, לֹא-תוֹסִיפִי לִשְׁתּוֹתָהּ עוֹד

The bowl, the cup of my mother-in-law, you shall never drink it again.

On a deeper level, there is a midrash on this verse from which we can infer that the beverage of the redemption will be ice tea:

אל תקרי כוס חמתי אלא כוס חם תי

Do not read it as kos chamati (the cup of my mother-in-law), rather kos cham ti (a hot cup [of] tea).

If we will no longer drink hot tea, the clear implication is that we will be drinking ice tea.

Answer 2

This prayer was fulfilled by Kalman Zev Wissotzky, who learned in the Volozhin Yeshiva. He founded Wissotzky Tea, and used his fortune to build up Eretz Yisrael.

Answer 3

There will be two teas, Oolong and Sage.

The first will be a sad tea corresponding to the lengthy exile, as one of the commentaries writes: לא רצו חכמים לגלותה - the wise men don't desire the galus tea. This will be (T)Oolong tea, signifying that the galus felt too long.

The second tea corresponds to the Messianic age of Torah study. Maimonides famously writes:

לֹא נִתְאַוּוּ הַחֲכָמִים ... יְמוֹת הַמָּשִׁיחַ... אֶלָּא כְּדֵי שֶׁיִּהְיוּ פְּנוּיִין בַּתּוֹרָה וְחָכְמָתָהּ

The Sages desire the Messianic age because they will be free to study Torah.

This will be the Sage tea, and it will be served in a Gemarah cup.

Answer 4

There are two cups of tea in the future, one for the days of Gog and one for the days of Mashiach (Genesis Rabbah 88).

כּוֹס יְשׁוּעוֹת, כּוֹס יְשׁוּעָה אֵין כְּתִיב כָּאן אֶלָּא כּוֹס יְשׁוּעוֹת, אֶחָד לִימוֹת הַמָּשִׁיחַ וְאֶחָד לִימוֹת גּוֹג.

Answer 5

The second half of לכה דודי contains metaphorical references to the ge'ulah. There is a phrase:

לא תֵבושי וְלא תִכָּלְמִי. מַה תִּשתּוחֲחִי וּמַה תֶּ הֱמִי

Do not be embarrased nor confounded. Why are you downcast and what is Hemi Tea?

Indeed, even the writer's of the poem weren't sure what Hemi Tea was, though they had heard of it then.

Admittedly, I hadn't heard of it, myself, by I was curious what Hemi Tea is. So, thank Google for coming up with an easy way to find out. It is a [tea for your cat].1! It says:

Hemi Tea is a newly founded company dedicated to bringing you the finest cat-friendly teas that you and your furry friend can enjoy together. Our founder was inspired by her own cats, Hemi and Flynn because she wanted to share the enjoyment she got from her beverages with her cats. After consulting with experts, she formulated special blends that are conducive to the health of both humans and felines. She is proud to share her creations with you and your feline family. Our teas are made from 100% organic herbs and 100% safe for both people and cats to drink. We strive for a pawsitive experience for all of our customers.

So, who says that the Ge'ula is just for humans? It's for your cats, too!