Which parent names the first child according to current custom?

  • Why assume it's one parent's responsibility?
    – Double AA
    Commented Nov 14, 2019 at 12:35

2 Answers 2


Rav Ari Enkin in his Shulchan Ha'Ari page.133 writes that it is best to name the child together based off Koheles Rabbah 7:3. He notes that that some hold that the father gets to name the child first (Yabia Omer 5:21). Others hold that the mother gets to name first( Igros Moshe YD 3:101 and Keser Ephraim 39).

  • 1
    But I would imagine these preferences are less important than kiddush, so shalom bayis is the first consideration.
    – Heshy
    Commented Nov 14, 2019 at 10:44

When we asked the Rov (Rav Y. Salzer shlita) about this (over 3 decades ago) he said that the mother gets to choose the first child's name, and thereafter alternate (father 2nd, mother 3rd, etc.)

IIRC he based this on Leah giving Reuven his name.
(Even though she gave Shimon his name too and Yakov (possibly - see Rashi) give Levi his name.)

  • There are sources from the Torah that the father gave the nane first as well
    – sam
    Commented Nov 14, 2019 at 14:25
  • @sam - please xplain, I don't know what you're hinting at. Commented Nov 14, 2019 at 14:28
  • I dont have my Yabia Omer handy ,but its mentioned there ,will provide source later
    – sam
    Commented Nov 14, 2019 at 14:29

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