There's a pretty common custom to observe what's commonly called a "Shalom Zachar" on the Friday night after a baby boy is born. People go to where the baby's father is, eat snacks, sing and share divrei Torah. This seems to be based on what the Rema (Yoreh Deah 265:12, see the Taz ad. loc. § 13) brings.

The Aruch HaShulchan (ad. loc. § 37) says in his day the custom was to do the above mentioned custom on Friday night and call it "Ben Zachar". Whereas, the next day they visit the mother and wish her mazal tov, and don't eat anything. They call this a "Shalom Zachar".

נהגו לעשות סעודה ומשתה בליל שבת לאחר שנולד זכר, נכנסים אצל התינוק לטעום שם, והוא גם כן סעודת מצוה...ובאמת אין המנהג בסעודה, רק בטעימת פירות, וקורין זה "בן זכר". ולמחרת בשבת אחר התפילה נכנסים אצל היולדת ליתן "מזל טוב", וקורין לזה "שלום זכר". ונוהגין שלא לטעום כלום, ואומרים שזהו מתקנת המדינה לבלי להכביד על הבעל ברית.

I've never heard of this version of the custom. Are there any communities today that observe it/refer to it as the Aruch HaShulchan describes?

  • 2
    In Frankfurt, as well as other Rheinland Jewish communities, the custom was simply to call the se'udah a "zochor". I can't speak to the custom of the 'Aruch haShulchan, though Commented Nov 3, 2019 at 12:53
  • I'm gonna try to find exactly where it is but there is something in likkutei dibburim about a shalom zachor and then next day about a shalom ben zachor
    – Dude
    Commented Sep 6, 2022 at 22:00


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