My aunt has recently passed away suddenly. It is hard to believe. Although I am coming to understand more and more the meaning of her passing, I am still unsettled that HaShem has let this decree happen. I davened, gave tzadekah, even wrote to the rebbe and went to the gravesite of a local tzaddik. I want to know more about what happened.
I am still in past in disbelief, especially since recently there are a series of hashgacha protis - synchronistic events - that preceded her passing. I had a dream of a dog coming to me on a leash prior to hearing the news that she was in a car accident. I wailed, crying after the dream. And I thought after awakening that I would never see this dog again. Initially I thought it was my old dog, but it became clear after waking up to hear the news from my father. Could the dog be her, leashed by the angel of death?
She was a very self-sacrificing woman and the week before her passing this aspect became strongly manifest in our lives. My near sibling was found out to have stolen a lot of family money to pay for her friends’ expenses and I walked 15 kilometres out of mesiras nefesh in hopes of helping a yid.
I understand that the week of a tzaddik’s passing, for example, is punctuated with another stage of elevation for his disciples. Is this what had happened?
I am trying to find a kabbalistic/ psychological explanation for what happened. My Rav said these things are concealed from us but I believe it may be closer to our finger tips than we think. Are we not supposed to look further into why HaShem made such a harsh deceee and why did none of my efforts help keep her alive?