My aunt has recently passed away suddenly. It is hard to believe. Although I am coming to understand more and more the meaning of her passing, I am still unsettled that HaShem has let this decree happen. I davened, gave tzadekah, even wrote to the rebbe and went to the gravesite of a local tzaddik. I want to know more about what happened.

I am still in past in disbelief, especially since recently there are a series of hashgacha protis - synchronistic events - that preceded her passing. I had a dream of a dog coming to me on a leash prior to hearing the news that she was in a car accident. I wailed, crying after the dream. And I thought after awakening that I would never see this dog again. Initially I thought it was my old dog, but it became clear after waking up to hear the news from my father. Could the dog be her, leashed by the angel of death?

She was a very self-sacrificing woman and the week before her passing this aspect became strongly manifest in our lives. My near sibling was found out to have stolen a lot of family money to pay for her friends’ expenses and I walked 15 kilometres out of mesiras nefesh in hopes of helping a yid.

I understand that the week of a tzaddik’s passing, for example, is punctuated with another stage of elevation for his disciples. Is this what had happened?

I am trying to find a kabbalistic/ psychological explanation for what happened. My Rav said these things are concealed from us but I believe it may be closer to our finger tips than we think. Are we not supposed to look further into why HaShem made such a harsh deceee and why did none of my efforts help keep her alive?

  • Sorry to hear, but you should rewrite your question in a neutral form, not asking for your particular event, but in general. I think it is too broad and you have to focus on one particular aspect.
    – Al Berko
    Aug 4, 2019 at 8:13
  • I find it difficult to understand what's so hard to comprehend: the lifespan is predecided by Hashem for every human, and once it's due there's nothing you can do. That's why we say ברוך דיין האמת - G-d is just and judges acc. to His truth. No need for a Kabbalistic explanation.
    – Al Berko
    Aug 4, 2019 at 8:17
  • I think when it comes to interpreting events for a specific person, the best approach is to be comprehensive in describing the relevant narrative, as any psychoanalyst or therapist would tell you. This is just the nature of the human mind, that it organizes itself through stories. Incongruities therein are evocative of the desire for further explanations. Aug 9, 2019 at 20:08
  • It depends on how many questions you are asking. For example, it says in the Talmud that the gates of prayers have been closed, but not the gates for tears. Yet, even prayers with tears are not guaranteed. Negative decrees sometimes occur because of sin, the discovery of which sin spurs a person toward better service. None of these are exclusively kabbalistic but within the remit of Orthodox rabbinic doctrine, and part-and-parcel of a reflective service of HaShem. Aug 9, 2019 at 20:10

2 Answers 2


I am very sorry for your loss. Necromancy, or the "channeling" of the dead to communicate with them, is expressly prohibited in Devarim 18:11. This OU article explains why. The rest of your question should be addressed to a rabbi. Baruch Dayan HaEmet


Kenny Xiong, I want say that I am sorry for your loss. I can relate. My uncle passed away a year ago and another is battling cancer now. We cannot know why Hashem allows these things to occur. Perhaps it is beyond our understanding. The Rambam says that G-d is good and does no evil. This implies that there was no mystery mystical power at work besides natural law. As for your question, unless it was related to a health issue (as in to get them to see a doctor) I can only say that it was G-d’s Will, and nothing you or I could have done to prevent their passing. With that, we hope to see them again in the afterlife. I hope this was helpful.


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