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IIRC, there was a statement made that a person who fixes their bad trait before their child is born, will not pass that trait along to their child.

I'm trying to locate this, but I'm not having any luck. I've tried likut mamarim sefarim and asked some people I thought might know, all to no avail.

I'm pretty sure it was in the gemara and not in a medrash or mussar seffer, but I can't be 100% sure.

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  • Do you have a source for passing traits at all? The Gemmorah says that G-d decides on every person's soul specifically - I never heard of such heredity.
    – Al Berko
    May 16, 2019 at 11:52
  • You might want to add examples to your question that support your claims (maybe like Mamzer, Kiddushin 70-74 I think)
    – Al Berko
    May 16, 2019 at 12:00
  • Also, please clarify what "traits" you're talking about - physiological, psychological, Middos or else.
    – Al Berko
    May 16, 2019 at 12:18
  • I have a source that relates a maaseh about one of the avreichim in Volozhin who excitedly went to his Rebbe Rabbi Chaim Volozhin to inform him that he was expecting his first child. He turned to Rav Chaim and asked him when does the chiyuv of chinuch begin to which Rav Chaim responded immediately - "20 years before the child is born!" The implication being that we have to work on ourselves first so that we provide the right example going forward...
    – Dov
    Jul 29, 2021 at 12:48

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The Drashos HaRan writes it clearly. He writes that one who works realy hard on a certain middah will not trtansmit t to his child. I dont recall where. It is also brought down in his name in the sefer siach sarfei koidesh.

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