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Reading Rambam's Mishneh Torah, Human Dispositions 5:11, we stumble upon the following opinion:

The way of sensible people: A man should first select a permanent vocation out of which to derive a livelihood, then buy a home, and after that take unto himself a wife;

This opinion comes from Sotah 44a:6:

The Sages taught (Tosefta 7:20-21): The Torah states: “What man is there that has built” (Deuteronomy 20:5), and then “that has planted” (Deuteronomy 20:6), and finally “that has betrothed” (Deuteronomy 20:7). The Torah has taught a person the desired mode of behavior: A person should build a house, then plant a vineyard, and afterward marry a woman.

Furthermore, in the same paragraph, Rambam calls those who do otherwise fools:

But fools reverse it by taking a wife first, and after that, if he be able, purchase a home, and after that, in his declining years, he will turn about looking for a vocation, or be supported on charity.

From a practical standpoint this seems a very sound opinion, however, the Lubavitcher Rebbe in his talk on family planning expresses a contradictory view on the subject:

The Rebbe states that a man should not delay the mitzva "to be fruitful and multiply" and must not wait until he has enough parnasa to get married and bring children into this world as every child comes with its own parnasa and Hashem provides sustenance for every child.

Therefore, according to the Rebbe, a man must not wait till he has a house and "vineyard" to get married, but must get married as soon as possible regardless of whether he is financially able to have children and support them.

Correct me if I'm wrong but the Rebbe's opinion seems to contradict Rambam. If so, then who is right? Should we wait till we have a house built and a "vineyard planted" to get married as Rambam and Gemara suggest or follow the Rebbe's view?

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I didn't listen to the lecture, but if your quote is correct that The Rebbe states that a man should not delay the mitzva "to be fruitful and multiply" and must not wait until he has enough parnasa to get married and bring children into this world then that is the answer.

Neither the Rambam nor the Rebbe expect of you to be able to support a wife and kids before you get married.

It seems that both agree that once you can afford the rent, you're fit to get married.

  • The Rebbe did not say anything about rent. Rambam clearly says one must have a source of income and house built before getting married. The Rebbe implies one must fulfill the mitzva "to be fruitful and multiply" even if he is broke as Hashem will provide parnassah with the child. The video is only 7 minutes, btw, so you may want to watch it to get a better understanding of the Rebbe's view. – Dan Weisberg May 5 at 16:47
  • Rambam's view clearly implies one should be financially prepared for getting married and having children which clearly contradicts the Rebbe's view. – Dan Weisberg May 5 at 16:52

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