My question is going to be a bit complicated so stay with me before you mark it as a duplicate. In my previous question Is giving money to parents considered a tzedaka?, I received answers that it's okay to give tzedakah money to parents if they are poor.
However, I recently found a contradicting opinion in Kiddushin 32a:
The Gemara asks: If so, consider that which is taught with regard to this baraita. Rabbi Yehuda says: May a curse come upon one who feeds his father the poor man’s tithe. And if this halakha, that one may feed his father the poor man’s tithe, was said with regard to a surplus, what difference is there? Since the son has fulfilled his obligation and simply adds something so that his father will have more, why is this person cursed? The Gemara answers: Even so, it is a disrespectful matter for one to feed his father with money that has been designated as charity for the poor.
Therefore, according to this opinion, if one is capable of supporting his parents financially, one should not use tzedakah money for this. This statement raises a number of questions:
- Is this true regarding other relatives as well?
- How authoritative/binding is this opinion? Are there any authoritative comments on this opinion?
- Does this opinion hold true in cases when one wants to give tzedakah money to his other relatives together with parents? Let's say one's parents and his other siblings are poor and live together in an old appartment which needs renovation. The son wants to donate his tzedakah money for the renovation. Should he use tzedakah money to help his poor family or must he use his other money and give tzedakah for other purposes (provided he is financially able to do so)? Remember, his poor parents are living in that appartment as well (with his other relatives) so some may argue that he is donating his tzedakah money to parents (indirectly though).