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A common term for a boy or girl who is looking for a shidduch is to describe him / her as being "in the parsha".

When I tried to arrange a shidduch for my son, the shadchanit said, "I have two nice girls, both in the parsha." I assume that they are both in the same parsha by the phrasing she used, otherwise, she would have said "they are in different parshiot". When I asked her which parsha they are in, she wouldn't tell me.

I think that parents and my son should at least know which parsha the girls are in, no? I mean, there are certain parshiot that I wouldn't want a girl to be in such as Bechokotai or Ki Tavo because they both have the list of "curses" in them. I also wouldn't want a girl in parshat Balak.

So, what's the deal? Is there some halacha that forbids a shadchan from revealing the parsha?


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closed as off-topic by msh210 Mar 23 at 22:16

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You’ve got it wrong. All marriages are in Parshas Ki Seitzei. The Shadchan just doesn’t want to discuss it more specifically, because marriage is only discussed in the context of divorce (Devarim 24:1) and a husband who accuses his wife of cheating (Devarim 22:13). Because we don’t want to inadvertently cast a curse on the couple, the custom is not to specify the Parsha.

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    Is that why the marriage process starts with going out? – msh210 Mar 12 at 22:34
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    @msh210 It’s a chiyuv d’Oraisa - ויצאה והיתה – DonielF Mar 12 at 22:52
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"The Parsha" is a colloquial way of referring to the upcoming week's Torah reading. This week's Parsha is Vayikrah, so the Shadchan(it) is telling you that both girls are somewhere in Parshas Vayikra.

At the very beginning of the Parsha, we see that Moshe Rabbeinu left the aleph of ויקרא as a smaller letter, to make it look like it was ויקר and Hashem just happened upon Moshe, nothing special about him. This was due to his extreme humility and modesty.

Apparently these girls are so incredibly humble and modest that they don't even want to be described explicitly as being humble. Therefore, the Shadchan(it) just hinted to it.

They sound like good options! Your fortunate son should look into the possibility of marrying both!

  • It's a good answer, but, it seems a bit too specific to the time that I placed this question. If I had asked this last week, you would have had to explain that it was Pekudei. I.e., you're answer suggests Vayikra only based on when I asked this question, not as to, generally, why a shadchan acts this way. As for marrying both, I had suggested to my son the concept that he doesn't have to decide on just one, necessarily. However, Shadchanim insist on presenting only one at a time. That's one reason why I don't care for them, in general. Seems a bit restrictive. – DanF Mar 14 at 17:15

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