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The Torah in Shemot 23:7 advises to distance oneself from a false thing.

Well - here's one false thing about my computer (and, probably your's too). Frequently, when you turn on your computer, it is finishing its updates. It tells you the percentage completed (which may not be accurate, but, that may be a case of lifnei iver (stumbling block before the blind.) However, at the point that it says 100% complete, it stays there for a minute or so.

That seems to be an outright lie. If it's 100% complete with its updating, it should move on to the next step and boot up or let you use your mouse and keyboard. If it stays there for a minute or two, perhaps it's still updating. Regardless, it's not 100% complete!

So, if I'm to follow the Torah's advice, should I distance myself from my computer? If so, does that mean completely, or just until I can move the mouse?

This question is Purim Torah and is not intended to be taken completely seriously. See the Purim Torah policy.

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    You'd probably need to stay away from much of the inernet then (yes, even on this site!). Unfortunately there are quite a bit of false statements abounding everywhere you look. To quote one of our most famous presidents: "Just because it's quoted on the Internet, doesn't mean it's true." - Abraham Lincoln, 1864 – Salmononius2 Mar 6 '19 at 20:33
  • @Salmononius2 Citing President Lincoln in that way really puts to question the phrase "honest Abe". – DanF Mar 6 '19 at 20:47
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It's not lying; it has finished its updates. After your computer ingests more than a kezayit of updates, it has to bentch before it can move on. While it is not clear exactly how much data a kezayit is, we know that at the very least, any Windows 10 update is much more than the minimum volume.

Be patient. Just as someone waiting for your table at a restaurant waits patiently while you bentch after your meal, you should wait patiently while your computer finishes up after its update. It'll be done soon enough.

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the talmud in Bava Metziah 24a says you are allowed to lie for 3 things, one is regarding relations. since some poskim consider the computer and especially internet to be in the category of accessory to arayos, therefore it is permitted.

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According to those opinions that one should have an iPhone, I don't have an answer, but I have a workaround.

With Apple's Shortcuts app, there's an action that allows you to run scripts remotely from your phone. If you set up the action ahead of time, you'll be able to dismiss the message from as far away as you'd like, and you'd be allowed to return to your computer.

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  • When it comes to smart phones, I'm pretty stupid. I'll have to read the tech info on your links to understand what this is about and better appreciate your answer. This sounds a bit scary that a phone can control your home computer! – DanF Mar 6 '19 at 20:23
  • @DanF The easy way to do it requires that your phone be on the same Wi-Fi network as your computer. The hard way requires that you set up a public port, which is just asking for your computer to be hacked if you don't know what you're doing. It's kinda tricky to set up, but surely you'll go through the effort with such a severe issur d'Oraisa on the line. – DonielF Mar 6 '19 at 20:36

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