PTIJ- Firstborn renovating a father's bedroom [closed]

Question

As per Rashi's commentary on Bereshit 35:22, Reuven did not actually lay with Bilhah, rather, he simply moved Ya'akov's couch. On this account, Reuven sinned and was deprived of firstborn status:

וישכב AND HE LAY — Because he had disturbed his couch Scripture accounts it to him as though he had actually sinned in this manner. But why did he disturb his couch? When Rachel died Jacob removed to Bilhah’s tent and Reuben came and protested against the slight thus inflicted on his mother (Leah). He said: “If my mother’s sister was her rival, is that any reason why the handmaid of my mother’s sister should become a rival to her!” On this account he disturbed the couch (Shabbat 55b). (https://www.sefaria.org/Genesis.35.22?lang=bi&with=Rashi&lang2=en)

Now, I am the firstborn son in my family, and I am renovating my father's house while he is away. When it comes time to redo the flooring in my father's bedroom, will I be sinning if I move the bed for this purpose? Further complicating matters, we are kohenim (and therefore B'nai Leah), my mother is a Bat Yirsael, and my father is remarried.

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This question is Purim Torah and is not intended to be taken completely seriously. See the Purim Torah policy.

Answer 1

Did you say you would be doing renovations? You will be sinning if you renovate your father's house without a

ZECHER L'CHURBAN.

Each Room -- Some poskim maintain that an amah by amah should be made in every room of one’s house.24 What to do? -- One should peel a piece of paint or plaster from the wall.27 [...] One who puts up wallpaper (and does not paint) is also obligated to leave a part of the wall unfinished.3 [...] One who renovates to the bare walls and re-builds from scratch would be obligated to leave a zecher l’churban.36 (source)

As for the floors, we say "lo plug"; that is, as with the walls, "do not plug up the floors [completely]," but rather leave a zecher l'churban.

Did you think about this at all??

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Now, on to your other question, of

MOVING THE BED.

I'm sorry to say it, but you will be sinning according to all authorities if you even touch it.

Let us examine the issue closely.

1. According to the Arizal in Shaar Hamitzvos Bereishis, the bed must be oriented with the head by the east and feet by the west.

2. According to the Rameh in M”A 3/7 and M”B 3/11, the head is to be by the west and feet by the east.

3. According to the Shulchan Aruch (OC 3:6, 240:17), it is forbidden to orient the bed from east to west in either direction. The bed must be aligned north to south.

4. It is also important that one's feet not face the door. However, one's head may not face the door either.

The question of correct bed orientation is discussed by the Shulchan Aruch, the Talmud, the Zohar, Rashi, Tosfot, Rambam, Mishna Berura, Kaf Hachaim and tons of others, and the differences of opinion are, according to the שו״ת וישב הים, "irreconcilable." Therefore the only solution is not to sleep in a bed nor (ever!) to move one.

And finally. Did your father give you permission to "renovate" his house while he is away?