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If a husband doesn't care about tahara laws, can she skip immersing?

Also what about if he is not interested in being intimate with her (and for some reason doesn't want to divorce her)?

To elaborate more, I want to know is there any punishment for the woman if she skips immersing, provided that her husband doesn't care (would have relations with niddah, or doesn't want relations at all)?.

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    On the first half of the question -- assuming they still plan to have relations, it's a sin for both of them if she hasn't gone to mikvah, so no.
    – Shalom
    Commented Jun 6 at 21:40
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    It's also a sin to cause someone to sin.
    – shmosel
    Commented Jun 6 at 22:40
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    A woman going to the mikvah isn't dependent on her husbands opinion. Your first and second questions are very different in scope. Was there a reason you asked them together or perhaps you need to explain more clearly what your one question is intended to be?
    – Dude
    Commented Jun 7 at 0:31
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    If this type of decision is faced by someone you know, I would suggest advising her to talk her situation over with a trusted spiritual/relationship advisor. In the situation presented in the question, the laws of Mikva are one of multiple very important aspects in play.
    – Isaac Moses ♦
    Commented Jun 7 at 12:40

1 Answer 1

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Having relations without first immersing in the mikveh is punished by kareit, which is a grave punishment (it also applies to violating Yom Kippur, Shabbat, idolatry, adultery, incest, etc.) The Rambam writes as such in MT Isurei Biah 4:3

If, however, a niddah, a zavah or a woman who gave birth did not immerse in a mikveh, a person is liable for kareit for having relations with one of them even several years afterward.

The prohibition and the punishment is incumbent on both husband and wife equally as the Rambam writes in MT Isurei Biah 1:1 based on Vayikra 20:18

When a person voluntarily engages in sexual relations with one of the arayot mentioned in the Torah, he is liable for kareit [...] The plural is used, referring to the man and the woman.

In a case where the couple is not planning to have relations, going to the mikveh does allow them to touch each other, pass on objects, sleep in the same bed - all of the prohibitions when a woman is niddah (knows as harchakot). And it would enable relations should things change.

PS. See here in a case where the husband is away.

Of course, consult your rabbi before implementing anything you learn here.

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    And consider emailing yoatzot.org
    – Shalom
    Commented Jun 7 at 12:28
  • Not an answer so submitting it as a comment, this is a very sensitively written article on a similar question theedencenter.com/what-are-my-obligations-on-mikveh-night which provides some useful insights which supplement the answer by @mbloch
    – Edward B
    Commented Jun 7 at 12:45
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    On your second point regarding הרחקות this is in fact a very common situation, where a woman will endeavor to immerse at the earliest possible juncture post-childbirth, even without yet being medically cleared for a resumption of marital relations, simply in order to make life easier (passing objects within a childcare context, hugging/touching for emotional/psychological comfort, etc.). The couple has no immediate plans for a resumption of marital relations (which for medical and/or emotional reasons sometimes might not occur for a couple of months), yet endeavor to remain in permitted state.
    – Deuteronomy
    Commented Jun 7 at 14:04

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