This is a sincere question, and all the answers above offer fantastic, sensible advice.

Isn't it somewhat sad that Jews have to make any type of comment in shul solely based on how people dress and look? It happens both ways. I live in a mainly Orthodox community and most shuls are Orthodox. There is a Young Israel in my neighborhood that has a terrific open-minded rabbi who wants every Jew to attend his shul. So, the rabbi himself on Shabbat is the only one wearing a *kapotah8 (long black frock.) Some wear black hats; most wear suits and ties; the Israelis wear half-open shirts unbuttoned to the middle of their hairy chests; and we have some "hippies" with long hair wearing patched or torn jeans. Nobody cares (well, a few do, but they're a tiny percentage.)

The point to all this - keep in mind what your doing. You're going to shul and so are they. Everyone is there to form the minyan and pray in shul. This is a small shul, you say. So, I assume that your husband attending the shul is one of the regular people forming the minyan??? If that's the case, enough said. Without him, no minyan; no service, and everyone loses.

I think that if anyone comments on how you dress and bothers you about it in anyway, all you have to say is, "This is how I dress; and we're all here to pray. We're not here to model our clothes." Plain and simple.

This dispels any concept of "Orthodox" and various groups and sects and certainly eliminates fashion from the discussion. I think it's a completely nonsensical discussion, Rebecca. It doesn't warrant any answer from you. People who are that nosy have their own insecurities, for whatever reason. They have to resolve it themselves.

If you feel that you must provide some answer, you can just mention that just like they do, you are there to pray and a shul is meant to include even non-Jews who feel like praying in a shul. If non-Jews are included, how much moreso should your shul include every Jew regardless of how s/he dresses. And, by all means, you can relay them the story about my Young Israel.

This is a sincere question, and all the answers above offer fantastic, sensible advice.

Isn't it somewhat sad that Jews have to make any type of comment in shul solely based on how people dress and look? It happens both ways. I live in a mainly Orthodox community and most shuls are Orthodox. There is a Young Israel in my neighborhood that has a terrific open-minded rabbi who wants every Jew to attend his shul. So, the rabbi himself on Shabbat is the only one wearing a kapotah (long black frock.) Some wear black hats; most wear suits and ties; the Israelis wear half-open shirts unbuttoned to the middle of their hairy chests; and we have some "hippies" with long hair wearing patched or torn jeans. Nobody cares (well, a few do, but they're a tiny percentage.)

The point to all this - keep in mind what your doing. You're going to shul and so are they. Everyone is there to form the minyan and pray in shul. This is a small shul, you say. So, I assume that your husband attending the shul is one of the regular people forming the minyan??? If that's the case, enough said. Without him, no minyan; no service, and everyone loses.

I think that if anyone comments on how you dress and bothers you about it in anyway, all you have to say is, "This is how I dress; and we're all here to pray. We're not here to model our clothes." Plain and simple.

This dispels any concept of "Orthodox" and various groups and sects and certainly eliminates fashion from the discussion. I think it's a completely nonsensical discussion, Rebecca. It doesn't warrant any answer from you. People who are that nosy have their own insecurities, for whatever reason. They have to resolve it themselves.

If you feel that you must provide some answer, you can just mention that just like they do, you are there to pray and a shul is meant to include even non-Jews who feel like praying in a shul. If non-Jews are included, how much moreso should your shul include every Jew regardless of how s/he dresses. And, by all means, you can relay them the story about my Young Israel.