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Why notdon't Jews accept Our Lord and Savior?

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Why don't Jews believe the Messiah has come? It's clear from all the Scriptures that He has come! We should all believe in Him! As it is written (Isaiah 53)

But he was wounded for our transgressions, he was bruised for our iniquities

and indeed Our Lord and Savior Zaphod was wounded by the robots of Krikkit (Life 9). As He said Himself (Life 26)

I don't know, they could have killed me, but they didn't.

a clear reference to the Resurrection. And then his ship! It is called Heart of Gold, an allusion to his Davidic ancestry (for David dawid has the same numerological value as Gold zahab). Moreover, about the Messiah it is written (Isaiah 7)

a virgin shall conceive1

obviously a reference to Zaphod, about whom is written (Restaurant 3)

There was an accident with a contraceptive and a time machine.

So why don't the Jewish people accept Him?


1 To be perfectly clear, this inaccurate translation is part of the Purim Torah. Don't rely on it in real life!


This question is Purim Torah and is not intended to be taken completely seriously. See the Purim Torah policy.

Why don't Jews believe the Messiah has come? It's clear from all the Scriptures that He has come! We should all believe in Him! As it is written (Isaiah 53)

But he was wounded for our transgressions, he was bruised for our iniquities

and indeed Our Lord and Savior Zaphod was wounded by the robots of Krikkit (Life 9). As He said Himself (Life 26)

I don't know, they could have killed me, but they didn't.

a clear reference to the Resurrection. And then his ship! It is called Heart of Gold, an allusion to his Davidic ancestry (for David dawid has the same numerological value as Gold zahab). Moreover, about the Messiah it is written (Isaiah 7)

a virgin shall conceive

obviously a reference to Zaphod, about whom is written (Restaurant 3)

There was an accident with a contraceptive and a time machine.

So why don't the Jewish people accept Him?


This question is Purim Torah and is not intended to be taken completely seriously. See the Purim Torah policy.

Why don't Jews believe the Messiah has come? It's clear from all the Scriptures that He has come! We should all believe in Him! As it is written (Isaiah 53)

But he was wounded for our transgressions, he was bruised for our iniquities

and indeed Our Lord and Savior Zaphod was wounded by the robots of Krikkit (Life 9). As He said Himself (Life 26)

I don't know, they could have killed me, but they didn't.

a clear reference to the Resurrection. And then his ship! It is called Heart of Gold, an allusion to his Davidic ancestry (for David dawid has the same numerological value as Gold zahab). Moreover, about the Messiah it is written (Isaiah 7)

a virgin shall conceive1

obviously a reference to Zaphod, about whom is written (Restaurant 3)

There was an accident with a contraceptive and a time machine.

So why don't the Jewish people accept Him?


1 To be perfectly clear, this inaccurate translation is part of the Purim Torah. Don't rely on it in real life!


This question is Purim Torah and is not intended to be taken completely seriously. See the Purim Torah policy.

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Why not accept that Zaphod Beeblebrox is the MessiahOur Lord and Savior?

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