Naming a Child an Embarassing Name

Question

Would Halacha deem it appropriate to name a child with a weird name that would be embarrassing later on, and is not a classic Jewish name (would this fall under the category of calling one by a nickname they do not want to be called by)? For example, would it be appropriate to name a child "Shoteh"?

If there is a problem, does this apply to naming a child a more classic Jewish name (e.g. after a recently passed relative), that will likely cause them to be made fun of later on. For example, would it be permissible to name a child "Yenta" in a community where this is not commonly used as a name, and it is likely that others will make fun of the child later in life?

Answer 1

A very Chashuv friend of mine helped me gather sources on this topic:

The following story is quoted here:

מספרים שאחד מחסידי האדמו"ר ה"פני מנחם" זצ"ל מגור בא אל רבו וסיפר לו כי החליט לקרוא לבתו התינוקת בשם יענטא על שם סבתו ז"ל. "שאלתי את זוגתי, וגם היא מסכימה לשם זה", סיים החסיד וציפה לאישורו של רבו. אך האדמו"ר הגיב בתמיהה: "ואת התינוקת עצמה שאלתם אם גם היא מסכימה לשם זה?".‏

They tell the story that one of the Hassidim of the Penei Menachem (Gerrer Rebbe) came to his Rebbe and told him that he had decided to call his infant daughter "Yenta", after his grandmother. "I asked my wife, and she too agrees to name her this", the Hassid concluded, and waited for the permission of the Rebbe. However, the Rebbe responded with wonder: "And did you ask the infant herself if she agrees to this name"?

In Peninei Halacha (Family 1:28), Rav Eliezer Melamed suggests using a weirder name as a second name, employing the logic that the people being named after don't want to cause embarrassment to their descendant. Based on the context there, it is unclear if he would suggest not naming after this person at all.

In Sefer Metzuveh Veoseh Volume 2, page 158, the Chazon Ish is quoted as being opposed to naming children after relatives if they will likely be embarrassed later on.

Answer 2

I think there's a difference between "naming" and "calling".

Calling names is forbidden for anyone only when it is intentional, for example, calling someone "red-head" is forbidden if it meant to offend and permitted if meant to distinguish. Like calling someone "black guy" - is not necessarily offensive.

However, naming a kid with a name with questionable meaning is not an offense on its own.

So a pious Jew can name his son חמור (donkey) implying he'll be a notorious Torah scholar as per Yaakov's Berocho to Issachar - "יִשָּׂשכָר חֲמֹר גָּרֶם רֹבֵץ בֵּין הַמִּשְׁפְּתָיִם". This name is not worse than other Hebrew names like זאב or דוב. So as long as the parents call the son normally - there's nothing wrong, but once they intend to offend him - they transgress הלבנת פנים as a part of ואהבת etc.

Same applies to the son's teachers or friends, as long as he's called this name respectfully there's nothing wrong and once they call him חמור as an assault - they transgress.

What would you say about [religious] immigrant kids meeting in an Israeli school, their originally American or Russian or Iranian or Ethiopian names can be a matter of never-ending assaults. But can we blame the parents? What would you say to parents that called their girl "עצמאותה" in honor of the establishment of the State of Israel? OR כרמלה named after the mountain of Carmel in Haifa?

What would you say to the parents that called their Frum girl Feiga and she left the religion - are they responsible to the secular reactions to her name?

Answer 3

Please don't -1 if you don't like the Halachah, this answer only brings the Jewish law, not my personal views.

1. The Jewish Halachah does not address the topic of naming children at all. There are some naming traditions kept by single families and communities, but they are weak and not obligating.

2. Naming a child is considered a prophecy and the parents are free from any limitations in names. Even if they call their kid a clearly embarrassing name intentionally, there's no Halachic bounds, e.g. they can claim they saw the name in their dream.

3. The parents are not responsible for the environmental reaction and they are not liable for any [psychological] damage inflicted to the child because of the name. It should be noted that the parents' considerations might be very different from the surroundings, especially changing ones, e.g. a girl is called a very nice name Paloma (Dove) in Spain, but the family moves to Jerusalem's Haredi community and the girl is considered an outsider.

4. On the bright side, there's nothing in the Halachah that obligates the children to bear the given names. A child may call himself whatever he wants and change names at any age (once he understands what the name is). He's also not limited to one name and can have as many names as he wants to be used at his will.

5. The Halachah does not recognize IDs or any form of registration; No names are registered by any Rabbinical authority - any person is free to change his name as many times as he wants.