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Jan
10
comment Should Jepthah have sacrificed his daughter?
@Yishai all depends how you read "letanot le-vat Yiftach." "To talk with Yiftach's daughter", or "to cry about Yiftach's daughter."
Jan
10
comment Should Jepthah have sacrificed his daughter?
@Yishai Malbim IIRC.
Jan
7
comment Do you know a Rav who did not remarry after the death of his wife?
@Ari after the Holocaust everyone knew they needed to rebuild. (Not to mention people were relatively young.) I think most rabbis who survived did remarry. The not-remarry trend tends to be older rabbis who lost their wives to natural causes, often after some extended illness.
Jan
6
comment What's an elegant way to avoid social contact with untzinius or attractive women?
Honestly my first reaction is "tough luck, the world doesn't revolve around your thoughts." Rav Moshe Feinstein allows a man to take the subway to work every day, even if it means occasionally unintentonally (and I mean really unintentionally) bumping into a woman. "What if it causes thoughts?" "Just move on." "What if it causes an anatomic reaction?" "Shame on you, if you're busy with work, kids, mortgage, minyan, it shouldn't; but if so, you need to find another means of transportation."
Jan
6
comment Is there any record of spousal abuse in the written or oral tradition?
@Avi I'd seen an article citing Rav Kapach's writings; his point specifically is that kofin means "we compel", and not kofeh that he compels -- he is not allowed to hit her.
Jan
6
comment Is there any record of spousal abuse in the written or oral tradition?
@Avi ask Rav Kapach, his point not mine. The language is kofin, not kofeh. Presumably she is called into court, told that if she insists on staying in this marriage and being supported, she needs to do something, whipped by a professional if the courts feel that's necessary to get the message across, and then sent home. If she pulls this shtick too much he could simply divorce her. And recall that Rambam writes as soon as she says "I can't stand to be in the bedroom with my husband", she can demand a divorce too.
Jan
6
comment Do you know a Rav who did not remarry after the death of his wife?
There's no perfect rule, but it seems the rabbis who didn't remarry tend to be the ones who got married relatively young (before they had "made it" as a gadol) to someone they viewed as a peer (e.g. not afraid to talk back to him -- if you called the Soloveichiks and asked to speak to "Dr. Soloveichik", rebbetzin Tanya would ask "which one?"), and lost them fairly late in life.
Jan
6
comment Do you know a Rav who did not remarry after the death of his wife?
@Yarden thank you, yes Rav Ovadiah spent his later years without Rabbanit Margalit by his side.
Jan
6
comment Is there any record of spousal abuse in the written or oral tradition?
@Avi Rambam says that if a woman says "I insist on sitting around the house, remaining married to my husband, getting fed by him, but doing no chores whatsoever", that they -- i.e. the courts -- could compel her to do so, even with a strap if necessary. Not that the husband could take that into his own hands, G-d forbid! (Rav Kapach, zt'l, makes this point.)
Jan
6
comment Is there any record of spousal abuse in the written or oral tradition?
@Avi -- says who?!!!! Ptooey!! Rambam says if you slap someone in the face, even if there's no long-term damage (i.e. you can go back to work the next day just fine), you still pay for pain and embarrassment. Why is this different?
Jan
6
comment Rape for a girl and is looking to get married
@Anz12 In Rabbi Ovadiah Yosef's question, the husband said "hooray your first baby! We do a pidyon haben ceremony!" He knew she had a troubled past, but not that she'd had a baby years earlier and given it up for adoption. Rabbi Yosef replied that she could allow him to go on with the pidyon haben, even making the bracha, if breaking the news to him would ruin their relationship. (Personally I'd advise against hiding something that big from a spouse, but it doesn't have to be telegraphed before the first date either. It can wait till later in the dating process.)
Jan
6
comment Rape for a girl and is looking to get married
@Anz12 the key is -- at the time that it happened, could this couple theoretically have been married? If he is her brother or father, no. If she's married to someone else, no. [We don't care if he's married.] If he's not Jewish, no. But if he was a Jewish co-worker, boyfriend, stranger, and not a first-degree relative, then she is still kohen-eligible. If you have a specific question please ask it; or if it's too graphic or personal, please email yoatzot.org.
Jan
5
comment Interracial marriages : Has anyone ever forbid it?
@Afi "what about non-Jews", meaning what: can a non-Jewish man of one race marry a non-Jewish woman of another race?
Jan
3
comment Slavery, the Beautiful Captive, and Conversion
@ClintEastwood it was given in the desert for when they entered the land. But regardless -- it is a law pertaining to a national war, which has to be formally declared.
Jan
3
comment Rape for a girl and is looking to get married
@BabySeal I think "bas yisroel" here simply means there's an additional prohibition for a kohen to marry a non-Jewish woman. IIRC a woman with a non-Jewish father isn't a "zonah", it's a separate (rabbinic, I think) enactment. Have to track it down b'n.
Dec
31
comment Dealing with an asexual wife
I'd like to believe that in most communities, unless a young woman is 100% sheltered from ever encountering the opposite gender, that a person would be somewhat cognizant of their sexual inclination before actually being expected to consummate a marriage. (It could sadly be the case that the young lady had a feeling something was wrong, but didn't feel safe to discuss it with anyone in advance...)
Dec
31
comment Dealing with an asexual wife
@Emracool thank you. Therapy can help a person make sure they really understand their condition (and that they're not confusing it for something else), figure out how to best cope with it, and determine, given their priorities in life, strengths, and weaknesses, what goals are most essential in an desired outcome that may be sub-optimal. I didn't mean that a therapist can magically make problems disappear.
Dec
30
comment How did the plague of blood work?
@ShmuelBrin, approach the medrash as medrash. And learn from it about the Jews finally being in a position of power. But it upsets me that everyone knows the Little Medrish Says and doesn't realize that the verses spell out an alternative answer. Medrash works best as a structure built on a foundation of pshat.
Dec
29
comment How do you write Isaiah in Hebrew?
@JimThio they are prefaced by "speak to the children of Israel." We believe that the vast majority of the commandments -- sabbath, kosher, all of that -- was only addressed to the Jews. All that non-Jews are expected to keep, as has been said repeatedly here, is: #1 support a just society (e.g. vote, pay taxes), and don't: #2 worship idols. #3 kill people. #4 violate certain sexual taboos. #5 eat a limb torn off a live animal. #6 curse God. #7 steal.
Dec
26
comment What to do if the minhag of my ancestors changed
@DoubleAA, the point is that we don't know that someone said "my tradition was this, but I will now go and change it to that."