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16

Like many things in life, this will obviously depend on the specific situation. For example, if the relevant people understand your lifestyle and why you would be sensitive to this issue before it came up would be a very different question than if they are militantly opposed to your zealous bigotry. I had a close relative marry a non-Jew, and I actually ...


15

Per the Igros Moshe the bride does not have to cover her hair until the morning after the wedding. The reasoning is that so long that she retains a public presumption of virginity, she has no obligation to cover her hair.


11

As a convert, this has been a bone of controversy in my family. My Rav, Rabbi Gedaliah Anemer, zt"l, said it was forbidden to enter the sanctuary of a church. Rabbi Maurice Lamm, in his book Becoming A Jew, also does not allow any leniency. When my father died, I brought up the issue because I was asked to speak at the memorial service. Another ...


11

Rabbi Moshe Feinstein was strongly opposed to a two-ring ceremony in which he says "harei at mekudeshet li" and she says "harei ata mekudash li", but in a later responsum -- EH4:32b (addressing R' Elyakim "Getzel" Ellinson, who was questioning men wearing bands and Rav Moshe defending the practice) he clarifies that for a man to simply wear a band is not ...


10

Yes. Rashi cites this in his commentary to Gen. 36:3 (explaining why the name of one of Eisav's wives is given as "Machalath" when earlier she was called Basemath; Machalath is related to mechilah, forgiveness), in the name of Aggadas Midrash Sefer Shmuel (ch. 17). (It's also in the Yerushalmi, Bikkurim 3:3.) This is in fact one of the reasons why a bride ...


10

Jewish Action, Summer 2005 edition, has a "What's the truth about..." column by Rabbi Dr. Ari Z. Zivotofsky on not meeting for the week preceding the wedding. His main point is the lack of old sources for this custom, but he does cite several newer sources and the reasons they give. See there for the details, but the reasons and post-facto rationales offered ...


9

YD §193 is about this. It is too comprehensive a discussion for me to adequately address here. Some basic points, however: Blood which comes from a wound - דם מכה - does not render a woman a Niddah. Technically speaking, hymeneal bleeding - דם בתולים - is blood from a wound. However, due to certain Halachic concerns, various amora'im (and some tanna'im ...


8

This is just my guess on things from what I've seen. There can be a lot of issues going on in each case, so it's worth taking an honest assessment of the full situation, and talking with a rabbi who's both knowledgeable and understanding. If both you and the event host demonstrate genuine caring and communication, that can help a lot of things too. I ...


8

The primary application that has been discussed over the years has been with regards to mixed seating at weddings. See also Rabbi Eli Clark, "Mixed Seating at Weddings" (pdf), Journal of Halacha and Contemporary Society. Rabbi Moshe Feinstein allowed it (OCI:41), based on Talmudic discussions related to seating at the Passover Seder. His son-in-law, Rabbi ...


8

Per Ohr.edu in the name of Rabbi Yosef Shalom Elyashiv Shlita, Children have a Chiyuv to respect their parents even after the parents have passed away. Attending the marriage of a surviving parent would be disrespectful to the deceased parent. See Hirhurim for more reasons.


8

In theory, as long as it's intrinsically worth a perutah it's good enough, but there can be no misunderstandings about what it is! If she thinks she's getting a diamond when in fact you're giving her a cubic zirconia, then it could be claimed the kiddushin occurred under false pretenses. So we avoid stones or fancy engravings. THEREFORE, to avoid any chance ...


8

Mishna Berura 573:8 mentions that a Chasan should say Viduy on the day of the wedding. There is no mention that it has to be at Mincha. Most likely the Minhag of saying it at Mincha was done practically as most weddings are after the time of Mincha. However it can be done anytime in the day. ...


8

Nitei Gavriel Nisuin1 37 mentions this in the name of Shaalos U'Teshuvos Pri Haadama 3:10, Shaar Hamifakaid Kidushin 16b 12, Klilas Chasanim 10:4, Shulchan HaEzer 67:3. However he mentions that many Gedolim oppose this Minhag based on the Biur Hagra 25:1.


8

There are two steps to marriage in Judaism: Kiddushin and Nisuin. Once those two are completed, the couple is married. In our days, the first act, Kidushin, is generally done by giving the Kallah a ring. The second act is done in a variety of ways (as what constitutes Nisuin is actually a Machlokes). The Chuppah is one such view, the Yichud room is another ...


7

Someone in the neighborhood I used to live in got an aliya for his 83rd birthday (=70+13), and people threw bags. The kids who opened them were disappointed to find dried prunes.


7

I know my answer will make people angry, but whatever. When I was a child, weddings had separate dancing, no mechitzah. As I got older, bushes and plants were used to create a division between men and women on smaller dance floors. As I got even older, dance floors got larger, and giant 8-10 foot tall mechitzas were found in the middle of the wedding. And ...


7

From page 10 of here: It is expressly stated in the Commentaries Bayith Hadash Beth Shmu'el on Shulchan Aruch Eben ha-Ezer 62, that the formula, "We will bless our G-d in whose abode is joy," is not to be recited at the Grace after a wedding feast [as it usually would be], if men and women are found together in one room-because there is no joy in ...


7

I don't have a source for the custom, but I think it's irrelevant. The onus is upon him to show a source that it isn't tznius. Standing for a woman in general certainly isn't a violation of tznius - in fact the Gemara says one is obligated to stand up for the wife of a talmid chacham (Shevuos 30b).


7

Jewish Action, Summer 2005 edition, has a "What's the truth about..." column by Rabbi Dr. Ari Z. Zivotofsky on not meeting for the week preceding the wedding. His main point is the lack of old sources for this custom, but he does cite several newer sources and the reasons they give. See there for the details, but the reasons and post-facto rationales offered ...


7

One source for the story you mentioned: http://yeranenyaakov.blogspot.co.il/2012/06/rav-wosner-asks-kallah-for-blessing.html In short, the author relates how a young woman received a wonderful shidduch. However, the chatan became ill and the local beit din advised that the couple not go forward. the kallah wrote to R' Wosner, who said that although he had ...


6

Like all things dealing with Sephardi minhagim, it is Kabbalistic and complicated. First the reason to have them is founded in the Zohar Helek 2, 68b, and Helek 3, 219, where it states that Hadas is a deterrent to the sitra ahra, ayyin hara and other negative spiritual forces. Going on from there, highly mystical reasons of tikkun olam are involved as the ...


6

Firstly, because it's traditional, going back to the Bible. Rebecca wore a veil for her marriage, as did presumably Rachel/Leah. I think the transparency is just a matter of modern convenience, so she can better see where she's going. Assuming the groom put the veil on her, and her whereabouts are known from that point (bedeken) until the chupah ceremony, ...


6

Twizzlers; fruit gems; dried apricots; raisins (even if they're in a little box, shouldn't be that painful when thrown).


6

According to the hagada by the author of K'sav Sofer (which seems to be called Seder Lel Hiskadesh Chag?) the kos shel b'racha of birkas hamazon should be used for sheva b'rachos as well because the birkas hamazon catalyzes the sheva b'rachos anyway and is therefore not serving a double purpose (which could be problematic). In addition he brings down a ...


6

Rabbi Moshe Feinstein says yes, "if needed". (I.e. there's a legitimate reason why you couldn't do the wedding a day or two earlier.) His cousin-once-removed, Rabbi Joseph Dov Soloveichik, said no. Rabbi Soloveichik's argument: "if the Talmud debated whether the fast starts at night, and some later rabbis thought you start saying the fast-day prayers at ...


6

I got married on the day after tisha b'av :) and was told not to fast. However, the rav I asked said that there are 2 reasons to fast on the day of your wedding: To make sure you're clear-headed at the wedding (i.e. don't drink) As a kapparah (atonement) So for 1. he advised me not to drink, and for 2 he said that I should accept upon myself to fast a ...


6

It is permitted to do so in principle, provided that afterwards the husband sets aside individual time to rejoice with each wife (Maimonides' Mishneh Torah, Laws of Marriage 10:13). Considering that polygamy itself was uncommon, though, it's doubtful that this law was applied in practice.


6

Good question. Would the laws of taharat mishpacha kick in, for example. They should definitely keep taharat hamishpacha, which is irrelevant of what exact marriage ceremony they did/didn't have. We would advise such a couple to go through a proper Jewish ceremony when they can; on the other hand, there is no halachic stigma on children born from two ...


6

You say: A veil is worn, of course, but that hardly seems to be a full covering. I learned that due to the large argument about when the bride first must cover her hair, it is sufficient at the wedding to have a partial covering which satisfies the Biblical requirement (dat moshe) but not the rabbinic requirement (dat yehudit). [See the Talmud Ketubot 72b ...


6

There is definitely no Halachic requirement to get married at night. I personally got married on Labor Day and the wedding was in the daytime. It is mostly done since it is convenient. Bli Ayin Hara with many weddings and Simchas on a daily basis, it would be dificult for many to attend if they were all held in the daytime. Nitei Gavriel Hilchos Nesuin ...



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