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21

It is definitely allowed according to halachah; this teacher was probably speaking about what he felt was the pious and holy way to behave. But the truth is that one must be extremely careful when trying to act "beyond the letter of the law," that he should not damage his Sholom Bayis in the process. The Chazon Ish in his "Iggeres Kodesh" (cited in Mishkan ...


18

There's a prohibition against touching any member of the opposite gender other than your spouse or close relatives. Many opinions say that's only "affectionate" touching, "such as hugging and kissing." Others say no, it includes all touching. (Rabbi Yehuda Herzl Henkin, in Hakira Journal, discusses these opinions and their sources; he strongly believes ...


13

Here, Rabbi Y.H. Henkin quotes his grandfather (Rabbi Yosef Henkin) as saying there is no prohibition against women wearing loose pants, and in fact they are exemplary ("yesh bo mishum tzenius"): "See Bnei Banim vol. 2 p. 211 par. 38, and vol. 4 p. 141 (concerning pisuk raglayim)." Here are the sources: ...


13

You are to be commended for taking on a socially-challenging mitzvah. It's not always easy to be Jewish and be seen as different, whether it's through dress, food, or how you spend your Friday nights and Saturdays. With any observance that sets you apart from others, take care in how you talk about it. It's about you, not about them, especially for your ...


12

The best development I've seen on this is Rabbi Yehuda Herzl Henkin's Contemporary Tseni'ut. It appeared in Tradition 37:3 (2003), as well as its own book. The Tradition article is available online, paid subscription required. Here's his conclusion, as relates to your question: It emerges from Rashi, Yerushalmi and Korban ha-Eda that peritsut in ...


12

I have heard from my father that my great-grandfather zal, when (in the 1920s) he moved to the States and got a job as rabbi in Canonsburg, Penna., was approached by the women in shul after t'fila Shabas morning with hands outstretched, and promptly acquired the custom of raising his hat.


12

Taking it for granted that the issue of "male attire" is ultimately not the source for the prohibitions, a stance I believe is justifiable even if not un-debatable, there remains a significant opposition to women wearing slacks on the grounds of modesty. Although most noted for taking the hard-line position that wearing slacks violates the prohibition of ...


12

Gemara Berachos 24a : Shmuel says that kol of a women is ervah because of the passuk in shir hashirim 2:14. יד. יוֹנָתִי בְּחַגְוֵי הַסֶּלַע בְּסֵתֶר הַמַּדְרֵגָה הַרְאִינִי אֶת מַרְאַיִךְ הַשְׁמִיעִנִי אֶת קוֹלֵךְ כִּי קוֹלֵךְ עָרֵב וּמַרְאֵיךְ נָאוֶה:‏ My dove, in the clefts of the rock, in the coverture of the steps, show me your appearance, ...


12

Rambam, Laws of Prohibitions on Relations, 21:19 (or #20, depending on your edition): וכן אסור לאדם שיקשה עצמו לדעת, או יביא עצמו לידי הרהור ... ולא יסתכל בבהמה חיה ועוף, בשעה שמזדקקין זכר לנקבה; ומותר למרביעי בהמה להכניס כמכחול בשפופרת, מפני שהן עסקין במלאכתן ולא יבואו לידי הרהור.‏ A man should not bring himself to arousal ... [gives a few ...


11

I think there are a few different scenarios here: Shmerel looks into his neighbor Berel's mailbox, and sees something inappropriate. Mind your own business. Messing with his mailbox is a federal crime. Dina d'malchusa dina. R' Moshe Feinstein once dealt with a fellow who would seize people's (totally appropriate) stuff and demand they give tzedaka ...


11

Aside from simply giving a short explanation as to why you wont shake hands (which itself can cause people to become offended no matter how polite you are about it), there is not much else you can do that isn't deceitful (claiming sickness) or just weird (bowing, accidentally missing). If you are going to follow the ruling that under no circumstances can you ...


11

I personally saw that my Rosh Yeshiva, Rabbi Azriel Chaim Goldfein ZT"L, a talmid muvhak (close student) of Rav Mordechai Gifter would shake the hand of any woman who extended her hand to him in greeting. I never had the guts to question him on this, but my presumption is that he weighed the prohibition on touching a woman, which is Rabbinic if not sensual ...


11

The Shulchan Aruch rules (YD 340:11) that women and men have an equal obligation in terms of keri'a, but that women should turn their undershirt around after tearing it before tearing her overshirt. Furthermore, in :15 he rules that a woman who performed keri'a is allowed to perform a non-professional stitch-up immediately after tearing, whereas a man would ...


10

In my and others' experience, the reaction to a refusal to shake hands varies depending on the person, from offense to awkwardness to amusement to respectfulness. Perhaps as tactful as you can get is to do the following: Apologize and explain: "I'm sorry, but religiously, I try to avoid unnecessary contact with women (other than my wife)." No need to go ...


10

Presumably standard practice is that once a woman begins treating her hair as erva, she should continue doing so. (I believe I've heard this from Rabbis Broyde or Willig.) Rabbi Moshe Feinstein does write that hair-covering while married is dat moshe, but hair-covering afterwards is dat yehudit. There is a great deal of discussion over what those terms ...


10

The Shulchan Aruch rules (OC 74:6): היתה טליתו חגורה על מתניו לכסותו ממתניו ולמטה, אע"פ שממתניו ולמעלה הוא ערום, מותר לקרות ק"ש If his clothing was tied around his waist to cover from his waist downward, even if above there he is naked, he may read the Shema. The operating principle here is twofold: One's erva must be covered. One's heart must not ...


10

When teaching Kodesh at Yeshivas Toras Emes (High School) in Johannesburg almost 30 years ago, the Menahel HaRav Gedalia Sternstein שליט"א told me that the Rov - Rabbi Salzer זצ"ל - told him that it's best if the students learn about these things from the Gemora - BiKedusha uVeTaharo. As relevant topics came up, we were to explain them is as much detail as ...


9

The gemorah says that IN THE BEIT HAMIKDASH, the Men and women were separated during the "Simcha Beis Hashoeva" because the environment was so lax and fun and lightheaded they were afraid people would do inappropriate behavior in the Beit Hamkidash. After the destruction of the beit hamikdash, this concept was further used to create separate seating in the ...


9

Per Rabbi Shimon Eider's Sefer Hilchos Nidah a lady who is a Nidah should not sing in front of her husband.


9

I think a rabbi would tell you pretty much what a psychologist would tell you here -- if it's a young child it's not a big deal; if it's an older child that can be a bit weird for them. If I recall correctly, halacha discusses the permissibility of a father co-sleeping with his young daughter; if she's young enough that she wouldn't be embarrassed naked in ...


8

The primary application that has been discussed over the years has been with regards to mixed seating at weddings. See also Rabbi Eli Clark, "Mixed Seating at Weddings" (pdf), Journal of Halacha and Contemporary Society. Rabbi Moshe Feinstein allowed it (OCI:41), based on Talmudic discussions related to seating at the Passover Seder. His son-in-law, Rabbi ...


8

This is awkward, particularly if you have behaved differently in the past (so people who knew you then will be confused by the change). I would not send pre-emptive email; I don't think it will reduce the face-to-face confusion and it risks seeming to make a mountain out of a mole-hill. You're also going to be leaving early on Fridays, not eating the ...


8

This would have to begin with Micah 6:8: והצנע לכת עם א-להיך, "be tzanua in walking with your G-d" (this is one of only two instances of this root in Tanach, the other being in Prov. 11:2, ואת צנועים חכמה). The Gemara (Sukkah 49b and Rashi there) explain this as referring to mitzvos done in public, like funerals and weddings; even these need to be done with ...


8

Afraid your friend got it horribly, horribly wrong. There are modesty reasons why you wouldn't want women immersing (so they can be with their husbands) running into random men; but for that reason, you simply say "mikvah is open to men during the following hours, women the following hours." I know of many mikvahs (or mikvaot) today that still have this ...


7

I'm not so sure that the premise of the question ("all swimming... was unclothed") is necessarily correct. If you look back a century or so - on the contrary, their idea of "bathing suits" was actually clothing that covered all, or at least most, of the body. That may well have been true in earlier times too. In halachah, we find a discussion about crossing ...


7

If I recall correctly, Yichud is okay short-term, but not preferable long-term. Here's the Rambam (Laws of Prohibitions on Relations Ch. 21), I don't know what the other opinions are. כא,ו המחבק אחת מן העריות שאין ליבו של אדם נוקפו עליהן, או שנישק אחת מהן--כגון אחותו הגדולה, ואחות אימו, וכיוצא בהן--אף על פי שאין שם תאווה ולא הנאה כלל, הרי זה מגונה ...


7

The source is Pesochim 111a and Horayos 13b where it says that it's koshoh leshikchoh (harms one's memory). Regarding relatives, Sefer Shemiras Haguf Vehanefesh page 333 brings from one sefer that it is mutar (allowed) (because the reason it is koshoh leshikchoh (harms one's memory) is because one diverts his attention from Torah to an Ervah, (so it doesn't ...


7

As a limud zchus (a line of reasoning to judge others favorably for their actions) Rav Vosner, as I understand it, says it is possible that this doesn't fall under the category of assisting a transgression since it is possible that the clothes will be worn in such a way that they are not actually immodest (i.e. layered) or because one is not participating at ...


7

Once meeting a potential client, the director (female) extended her hand to shake, I quickly pulled a business card from my pocket and gave it to her, it worked but when leaving she wanted to shake my hand again, I simply said I'm sorry and she quickly understood. maybe my black suit and black kipa helped (can't remember if I had my hat also). In any case ...


7

There are a number of books and websites (including shailot ve'tshuvot of recognized halachic authorities) on the topic of Halachot for Soldiers. I would strongly recommend anyone in this situation consult with your local Rabbi or posek. Below is a list of a few of the sources I know of: http://www.aka.idf.il/Main/rabanut/General.aspx?catId=60233 ...



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