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Rav Elchonon Wassermann (Kovetz Ha’aros Yevamos #70) regarding Lashon Harah qualifies the prohibition that it only applies when there is no benefit or to'eles: It would seem that all that is prohibited between people (bein adam l’chavero) is only prohibited when done in a harmful and destructive manner without justification. For example regarding the ...


3

The Chofetz Chaim writes in a note to the fifth detail of permissible Lashon Hara in Hilchos Lashon Hara 10:14 אפשר דהוא הדין אם כוונתו בסיפורו להפיג את דאגתו מלבו - הוי כמכוון לתועלת על להבא, [ולפי זה מה שאמרו ז"ל, דאגה בלב איש ישיחנה לאחרים, קאי גם על ענין כזה]. אך שיזהר שלא יחסרו שאר הפרטים שבסעיף זה" It is possible that the same [allowance] ...


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There is no prohibition to saying "I love you" to your wife. Having love for your wife is very important in Judaism!


4

You cannot really know if the other person minds; he might be saying he doesn't mind out of a desire to avoid conflict, for example. So let us first consider the case where we do actually know (as well as we can): can you say lashon hara about yourself? This question has been asked. There is a famous story about the Chofetz Chayim saying this is ...


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See the Chafetz Chaim in Shmiras Halashon (חלק ב' פרק יח): פָּרָשַׁת בְּהַעֲלֹתְךָ ''וַתְּדַבֵּר מִרְיָם וְאַהֲרֹן בְּמֹשֶה עַל אוֹדוֹת'' וְגוֹ' {במדבר י''ב א'}. מִפָּרָשָׁה זוֹ אָנוּ לְמֵדִים כַּמָּה עִנְיָנִים: א. שֶׁאִסּוּרוֹ הוּא אֲפִלּוּ אִם הָאִישׁ שֶׁדִּבֵּר עָלָיו הוּא עָנָו וּשְׁפַל רוּחַ, וְאֵינוֹ מַקפִּיד עַל מַה שֶׁדּוֹבֵר עָלָיו ...


4

I don't see how it could be the first meaning. It doesn't say that he must only move his lips but שיוציא - emit it with them. Also, there would be no need to mention לאזנו if he made no sound at all (just השמיע would suffice). The sense is a sound that is emitted by his mouth but inaudible to his ears.



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