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Rav Elchonon Wassermann (Kovetz Ha’aros Yevamos #70) regarding Lashon Harah qualifies the prohibition that it only applies when there is no benefit or to'eles: It would seem that all that is prohibited between people (bein adam l’chavero) is only prohibited when done in a harmful and destructive manner without justification. For example regarding the ...


The Chofetz Chaim writes in a note to the fifth detail of permissible Lashon Hara in Hilchos Lashon Hara 10:14 אפשר דהוא הדין אם כוונתו בסיפורו להפיג את דאגתו מלבו - הוי כמכוון לתועלת על להבא, [ולפי זה מה שאמרו ז"ל, דאגה בלב איש ישיחנה לאחרים, קאי גם על ענין כזה]. אך שיזהר שלא יחסרו שאר הפרטים שבסעיף זה" It is possible that the same [allowance] ...


There is no prohibition to saying "I love you" to your wife. Having love for your wife is very important in Judaism!


You cannot really know if the other person minds; he might be saying he doesn't mind out of a desire to avoid conflict, for example. So let us first consider the case where we do actually know (as well as we can): can you say lashon hara about yourself? This question has been asked. There is a famous story about the Chofetz Chayim saying this is ...


See the Chafetz Chaim in Shmiras Halashon (חלק ב' פרק יח): פָּרָשַׁת בְּהַעֲלֹתְךָ ''וַתְּדַבֵּר מִרְיָם וְאַהֲרֹן בְּמֹשֶה עַל אוֹדוֹת'' וְגוֹ' {במדבר י''ב א'}. מִפָּרָשָׁה זוֹ אָנוּ לְמֵדִים כַּמָּה עִנְיָנִים: א. שֶׁאִסּוּרוֹ הוּא אֲפִלּוּ אִם הָאִישׁ שֶׁדִּבֵּר עָלָיו הוּא עָנָו וּשְׁפַל רוּחַ, וְאֵינוֹ מַקפִּיד עַל מַה שֶׁדּוֹבֵר עָלָיו ...


I don't see how it could be the first meaning. It doesn't say that he must only move his lips but שיוציא - emit it with them. Also, there would be no need to mention לאזנו if he made no sound at all (just השמיע would suffice). The sense is a sound that is emitted by his mouth but inaudible to his ears.

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