Tag Info

Hot answers tagged

10

Even according to the custom of avoiding interrupting between washing and the blessing of HaMotzi, one need not wash again if one spoke or otherwise interrupted as long as the person remained mindful to keep their hands clean during the interim (Mishna B'rura 166:6, English translation): דע דעיקר דין תכיפה המוזכר בסימן זה הוא רק מצוה לכתחלה אבל בדיעבד ...


9

The Kitzur Shulchan Aruch in סימן טו - דיני קדיש וברכו וצרוף עשרה says that as long as there are at least 6 people actually answering, you may say Kaddish, as long as there are 10 adult males above Bar Mitzva awake in the room - even if 1, 2, 3 or 4 of them are forbidden from answering kaddish at that moment. סעיף ז': אִם אֵין ט' שׁוֹמְעִין לְהַשְּׁלִיחַ ...


8

While I do not in anyway meant to minimize the difficulty of removing profanity from one's vocabulary (or the effort of those who have been successful), it may be helpful to recall that if you have learned to use profanity you have probably already mastered not using it settings where such language is frowned upon. From my experience I would suggest the ...


8

Just a suggestion, but one which worked for me -- when I got married I thought to myself, "would it be appropriate for a 1 year old to have his or her first words be curses?" Children imprint on the language they hear around them. So I decided that I was going to keep myself from saying words for the sake of my as of yet unborn children. If I got into the ...


5

I would start by picking a window of time, maybe 30 min, maybe 15, where you can stay conscious and in control of what I am saying. "From 6 to 6:30 pm, I will not speak nivul peh." After a week, stretch that window. And then extend it again the third week. At some point, instead of taking on more time, move it to a more sensitive part of the day/week, like ...


5

The Chofetz Chaim writes in a note to the fifth detail of permissible Lashon Hara in Hilchos Lashon Hara 10:14 אפשר דהוא הדין אם כוונתו בסיפורו להפיג את דאגתו מלבו - הוי כמכוון לתועלת על להבא, [ולפי זה מה שאמרו ז"ל, דאגה בלב איש ישיחנה לאחרים, קאי גם על ענין כזה]. אך שיזהר שלא יחסרו שאר הפרטים שבסעיף זה" It is possible that the same [allowance] ...


4

I don't see how it could be the first meaning. It doesn't say that he must only move his lips but שיוציא - emit it with them. Also, there would be no need to mention לאזנו if he made no sound at all (just השמיע would suffice). The sense is a sound that is emitted by his mouth but inaudible to his ears.


4

You cannot really know if the other person minds; he might be saying he doesn't mind out of a desire to avoid conflict, for example. So let us first consider the case where we do actually know (as well as we can): can you say lashon hara about yourself? This question has been asked. There is a famous story about the Chofetz Chayim saying this is ...


4

The Maharal in Nesiv HaTorah towards the end of chapter 4 writes that one does not need to make a Birkas haTorah on thoughts of Torah. The Maharal explains that this is because a person is defined by speech, as Onkelos translates ויהי האדם לנפש חיה, Man became a living being, as רוח ממללא, a speaking being. Man is defined by the intersect between the ...


4

This is somewhat similar to the famous Mi Sheberach for those who don't speak during prayers, compiled by the Tosafot YomTov after it was revealed to him in a dream that the ת"ח ות"ט crusader pogroms were a punishment for talking in shul. It is meant to be said after the Torah reading on Shabbat. It says: מי שברך אבותינו, אברהם יצחק ויעקב, משה ואהרן, ...


4

All the techniques above are great techniques to help kick a habit. I'm just going to toss in my $.02, as it's different than what others have said and can also hopefully be helpful. This was one of the techniques I heard from my Rebbi, when he would speak about kicking bad habits. Another technique I've heard (used in many other instances as well) would be ...


3

Words spoken instinctively are produced through muscle memory, rather than a conscious decision involving reflection. Something slips from your hand, you say, "xxxxxxx!". All muscle memories can be retrained, but your desire to exclaim will remain, so pick a replacement word for each of those you wish to purge, and then practice it, like a sportsperson or ...


3

The Kitzur Shulchan Aruch rules that: One may not interrupt between washing and eating, even with doing nothing or walking around. One who interrupts, need not wash again, unless he's become totally distracted from this washing, by doing some [major unrelated] activity or talking a lot. He brings this in סימן מא - הלכות בציעת הפת וברכת המוציא סעיף ...


3

What an important and difficult topic! First Look at Kiddushin 70a-b and the commentators about the prohibition of inquiring about a woman's situation (sh'eilat shalom--a topic which includes speaking to them), particularly the language of Meiri and an important Ben Yehoyada; and see Bava Metzia 87a in the middle of the page. See Shulchan Aruch 21:6 and ...


2

The grandson of Aryeh Levine, reports how he witnessed Rav Shlomo Zalman Auerbach zt'l would go to the women's section during simchas to wish them a mazel tov. He says Judaism used to be alot more normal back then. could be today people have a harder time talking to women without thinking sexual thoughts


2

Here is some info. You weren't clear if the issue you are concerned with is seeing them or hearing them so here are some random sources. Reb Moshe in Igros Moshe Orach Chaim ch. 1 siman 40 writes in a tshuva to be careful not to look at a woman's face even when talking to give her a halachic ruling. There is a long eizer mikudash (the butchatcher rav, ...


2

Lashon hara is not a problem when it is intended to serve as a benefit to society rather than just as gossip. As far as diyun l'chaf zechus, according to the Rambam in his Pirush Mishnayos on the relevant passage in Avos, diyun l'chaf zechus would be where an action that was open to interpretation contradicted what was already known of a person's ...


2

the talmud in ketubot 17 says one should be "meurov im habriot" (lit.mixed with others). Rashi there says to strive to do the will of each and every person. this implies being sensitive to the individual needs of each person and behave according to how that person wants to be treated.


2

The commentary Ohr Hachaim on Breishit 3:17 states that Eve did speak to Adam, whose mistake was that he didn't check and ask his wife which tree the fruit came from, but simply just listened to his wife when she told him to eat the "forbidden fruit". Keep in mind that in the Torah, the term "listen" doesn't necessarily imply that there was a conversation ...


2

Paragraph 1 of your question quotes Rambam Hilchot Tefilla 12:11. This refers to reading the Torah as is seen from the first halocho: Tefilah and Birkat Kohanim - Chapter Thirteen Halacha 1 Moses, our teacher, ordained that the Jews should read the Torah publicly on the Sabbath and on Monday and Thursday mornings, so the [people] would never have ...


2

As not saying God or writing God are newly formed ideas that many consider to be from gentile sources, it should be considered a personal stringincy, and therefore the person who was taken on this additional stringincy should do what they feel is best. If they want to know what the majority of halakhists say regarding this manner, see the following: We ...


2

Long term habits can be extremely difficult to reverse. As suggested above, the best idea is to identify the environments that cause you to speak profanity and avoid such situations as best as possible. Most of the time, people who speak profanity do so because they are frustrated or angry at someone. So, if you can, avoid the people and situations that ...


2

Rabbi Hershel Schachter has a yutorah mp3 on academic integrity (and the need for students to report cheating to the appropriate board); he mentions there explicitly "if someone needs to pour their heart out to a psychiatrist" that would be permissible.


1

Rabbeinu Bechayei on Pirkei Avot 5:8 expands on the Mishnah citation that among the 10 things created during twilight prior to the start of Shabbat, is the mouth of the donkey that spoke to Bil'am. He states that all 10 things in the list were created for the honor of Israel. The main idea to be learned is that the donkey doesn't speak on its own, but ...


1

As mentioned in @gershongold 's link, the Rema (Orach Chaim 239: 2) writes: וְיִקְרָא קְרִיאַת שְׁמַע סָמוּךְ לְמִטָּתוֹ, וְאֵין אוֹכְלִים וְשׁוֹתִים וְלֹא מְדַבְּרִים אַחַר קְרִיאַת שְׁמַע שֶׁעַל מִטָּתוֹ, אֶלָּא יִישַׁן מִיָּד That is, after reciting kriyat shma in bed one doesn't eat, drink, or speak, but rather sleeps immediately. Also cited are ...


1

From ben olam haba web site: Before washing for Al Netilas Yadayim, it is important to ensure that the table is set and ready for the meal and that the bread, salt and breadknife is already on the table. [Alternately, if one is simply eating a piece of bread or a sandwich and not setting the table, it is important to make sure that the bread or sandwich is ...


1

There is a Ben Yehoyada in כתובות דף ח ע׳ב who points out that Chazzal made a distinction between נבול פה, and כל המנבל פיו. The first refers to speaking perverse language, the second refers to making perverse gestures with one's tongue.



Only top voted, non community-wiki answers of a minimum length are eligible