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See the Chafetz Chaim in Shmiras Halashon (חלק ב' פרק יח): פָּרָשַׁת בְּהַעֲלֹתְךָ ''וַתְּדַבֵּר מִרְיָם וְאַהֲרֹן בְּמֹשֶה עַל אוֹדוֹת'' וְגוֹ' {במדבר י''ב א'}. מִפָּרָשָׁה זוֹ אָנוּ לְמֵדִים כַּמָּה עִנְיָנִים: א. שֶׁאִסּוּרוֹ הוּא אֲפִלּוּ אִם הָאִישׁ שֶׁדִּבֵּר עָלָיו הוּא עָנָו וּשְׁפַל רוּחַ, וְאֵינוֹ מַקפִּיד עַל מַה שֶׁדּוֹבֵר עָלָיו ...


You cannot really know if the other person minds; he might be saying he doesn't mind out of a desire to avoid conflict, for example. So let us first consider the case where we do actually know (as well as we can): can you say lashon hara about yourself? This question has been asked. There is a famous story about the Chofetz Chayim saying this is ...


I don't see how it could be the first meaning. It doesn't say that he must only move his lips but שיוציא - emit it with them. Also, there would be no need to mention לאזנו if he made no sound at all (just השמיע would suffice). The sense is a sound that is emitted by his mouth but inaudible to his ears.

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