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18

Someone asked this of Rabbi Yaakov Hopfer, a major posek on these matters in Baltimore. He said without hesitation that it was permissible. His interpretation of the prohibition on "s'chok vekalut rosh" is "behavior that is suggestive or disinhibiting." I don't see a normal "I love you" as either of those.


17

Kitzur Shulachan Aruch 10:1 says וכל הזהיר במצוות תפילין, לנהוג בהם קדושה, שלא לדבר בהם דברי הבלים ושיחת חולין, מאריך ימים ומובטח שהוא בן עולם הבא, שנאמר: "ה' עליהם" (שנושאין עליהם שם ה' בתפילין) – יחיו, ולכל בהן חיי רוחי, ותחלימני והחייני" And anyone who is careful with the Commandment of tefilin, to behave with them in holiness, not to speak, ...


15

I've heard and seen this idea, in stories / biographies of people careful with how many words they used. but I could not locate an online source. The closest so far is: "When a man speaks and expels hevel (breath) from his mouth - this breath is his lifeforce (chiyuso). The proof of this is after the soul has left the body, there is not left in him ...


11

In Be'er Moshe, R' Moshe Stern relates how it was the custom in his home not to allow children to see their reflection in the mirror before their teeth come in or before they begin to speak. In regard to several of these type of (bizarre) customs, he writes: וכל אלו הג׳ מנהגים בכלל מנהג נשים זקינות שעליהם כתב הרשב״א שאל יזלזלו בדבריהן ובמנהגיהם כי בודאי ...


11

The Talmud (Shabbos 33a) states (using Is. 9:16 as a prooftext) that obscene speech causes various national troubles, G-d forbid. It then goes on to say: "Rabbi Chanan bar Rava says: Everyone knows why a bride enters the bridal chamber. Nevertheless, if one speaks obscenely about it, even if there was a Divine decree that he enjoy seventy years [the average ...


11

A person whose wife is nidah is still obligated to love her as much as he loves himself; anything he says in order to "lessen the tension in the air" is permitted (Nit'ei Gavriel 33:4 and footnote 8). So I guess to say "I love you" to "lessen the tension in the air" is permitted, but to say it for no reason may be closer to lightheadedness.


10

Jewish Action, Summer 2005 edition, has a "What's the truth about..." column by Rabbi Dr. Ari Z. Zivotofsky on not meeting for the week preceding the wedding. His main point is the lack of old sources for this custom, but he does cite several newer sources and the reasons they give. See there for the details, but the reasons and post-facto rationales offered ...


9

I once heard Rav Shmuel Kaminetsky describing the life of a certain Rav in a little shtetel many years ago. The people of the village were unlearned, and the Rav, who was a big Talmid Chacham, had no one with whom to converse in Torah learning. What did he do? He would put his hat on the banister next to the Aron Hakodesh, and speak as if there was an ...


8

See Shulchan Aruch Orach Chaim 489:4 that when one says tonight is such and such during Bein HaShemashos (the period of twilight when it is possibly day, possibly "night") one may no longer count again with a blessing. The M.B. seif katan 21 says that one has fulfilled ones obligation b'dieved (after the fact) even not having said "of the Omer". Since one ...


8

It's known as ona'at devarim. Taking advantage by words, or as Rabbi Torczyner calls it, verbal abuse. The example of asking someone unknowledgeable to put them down is discussed here, by Shulhan Arukh in the laws of Ona'at Devarim. Leviticus 24:14-17: כה,יד וכי-תמכרו ממכר לעמיתך, או קנה מיד עמיתך--אל-תונו, איש את-אחיו. כה,טו במספר שנים אחר היובל, ...


8

The Rambam in Perush Hamishnayos Avos Perek 2:1 says that a Mitzva Kala is learning Loshon Kodesh. Harav Yitzchak Yosef in Yalkut Yosef Hilchos Talmud Torah Seif Koton 78 also says it is a Mitzva.


8

Shaalos U'Teshuvos Rabbi Akiva Eiger 29 says that someone who wrote the number of the day of Sefira he must count still with a Bracha והדבר ברור שצריך לחזור ולספור בברכה. Birchei Yosef 489:14 discusses someone who wrote a letter and in the letter wrote the number of the day in Sefira - that he has to count with a Bracha לאו כמספר בפיו ולא עלתה לו. ...


8

The 3rd commandment is not to take a pointless oath in G-d's name (e.g. swearing that a table is a table, and other pointless oaths, see ch 1) as is codified by Rambam (Hilchos Shvuos) and Sefer HaChinuch(30). By swearing pointlessly invoking the name of G-d, one trivializes G-d's significance as the singular force in the Universe. Rambam (Hilchos Berachos ...


7

The Talmud discusses this issue in Pesachim 3a. There it brings a number of instances where a verse uses extra letters to avoid saying a negative word. Here's one example that it brings: The verse by Noach (Genesis 7:8) says to bring into the ark animals that are טהורה (pure) and animals that are אשר איננה טהורה (lit. that are not pure). This is instead of ...


7

Based on the addition to your question: The law might have been translated as something like "bad mouth", though I think that slander might not have been included because that implies that the bad-mouthing is false. — I have to say you must be referring to lashon hara, "evil speech", which is (very generally) telling true tales that hurt someone. ...


7

Yerushalmi Terumoth (ch. 1): ולא יראה בך ערות דבר (דברים כג): ערות דיבור זה - ניבול - פה Also, see Mesilat Yesharim (ch. 11) about the severity of this sin, where he brings this and other sources.


7

The Tzemach Tzedek (Lubavitch) wrote, that if we only knew the power of saying Psalms, and the positive spiritual effect they had we would say them constantly! See this video: Hayom Yom Shevat 24. And the text can be found here


7

The Kitzur Shulchan Aruch in סימן טו - דיני קדיש וברכו וצרוף עשרה says that as long as there are at least 6 people actually answering, you may say Kaddish, as long as there are 10 adult males above Bar Mitzva awake in the room - even if 1, 2, 3 or 4 of them are forbidden from answering kaddish at that moment. סעיף ז': אִם אֵין ט' שׁוֹמְעִין לְהַשְּׁלִיחַ ...


6

While it proceeds to list leniencies/exceptions, the Shulchan Aruch Orach Chaim 146:2 states initially that it is prohibited even to speak Divrei Torah even in between aliya's (i.e. while the Torah reading has paused). One leniency is for one for whom "Torah is his occupation" but the M.B. 9 cites the Elya Rabba (who cites many Rishonim) that no one today ...


6

The 5th Chabad Rebbe writes that the power of speech is infinite, it would stand to reason therefore that the answer is no, there is not a finite number of words that one can speak.


6

It is superstition, which Jewish women likely absorbed from the surrounding culture. I wrote in another answer about upsherin and the Pennsylvania Germans / Dutch, where the Pennsylvania Germans are continuing an old superstition from Europe (and where upsherin is explicitly not practiced by Tannaim/Amoraim). Similarly, R' Menasheh Klein's endorsement of ...


6

I think the usual source is Talmud Bavli Shabbos 33a, although the context there is aggadic rather than halachic. It identifies what is called "nivul peh" (obscene speech) as a cause for many a tragedy in the Jewish people and derives this from Yeshayahu 9:16. It also states there that for one who employs nivul peh, gehinom (hell) is "made deeper" for him. ...


6

Presumably he thinks he's speaking to Eli. Malbim explains accordingly: Shmuel's "Hineni" in v. 4 is to tell Eli, "I'm not sleeping!" and then he runs over to see just what Eli wants from him. The second and third times, then (vv. 6 and 8), he doesn't need to repeat this phrase, because Eli already knows he's awake; he just goes over and says, "I am here ...


6

See Igros Moshe Even Haezer 3:35 where he says it is a mitzvah to speak lashon hakodesh based of Sifri (Devarim Piska 46) which is quoted by Rashi on the verse of l'daber bam (Devarim 11:19). (The tshuvah is focused on non Jewish names.)


6

The Vilna Gaon held (Maaseh Rav 18): ולילך בהם כל היום אפילו משא ומתן מותר ואכילת עראי ג״כ מותר רק דברים בטלים אסור And to go with [the Tefillin] all day, even business matters are permitted, and even non-fixed eating is also permitted, only useless words ["Devarim Beteilim"] are prohibited. It seems like he's saying that regular actions that are ...


6

According to Rebbetzin Faige Luban, a kallah teacher in Edison, NJ, it is required.


6

The Rambam (Hil. Avel, 4:4) presents this custom as halacha, and he is followed by many other rishonim including the Rokeach (Hil. Aveilus, 313), Sefer HaAgudah (B'rachos, Chapter 9), Kol Bo (§ 114), and the Ramban (Toras HaAdam, Sha'ar HaSof, Inyan HaHotza'ah). This custom is also presented by such later authorities as the Beit Yosef (YD 376) and, more ...


6

L'chatchilah one should swallow before one speaks see Mishna Brurah 206:12.


5

The Fifth Lubavitcher Rebbe writes that one should not speak Lashon Hakodesh as a day-to-day language. As Lashon Hakodesh is a holy language, one shouldn't use it for mundane speech. Rabbi Shimon Ben Yochai said that if he would have been by Mt. Sinai, he would have asked for Jews to have another mouth, one to talk about one's needs and one with which to ...


5

In my experience it is called אותו מקום, oto makom - "that place"



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