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Halachically, you transgress a biblical commandment if you knowingly have relations with a niddah, and the punishment is karet. See this answer, which cites Rambam Laws of Prohibitions on Relations 4:3. According to Rambam Issurei Biah 1:1 (h/t DoubleAA), punishments for forbidden relations apply to both except in a special case not applicable here. By ...


4

This understanding of the retrospective way in which even negative history ultimately leads to the culmination of G-d's plan is a very standard Kabbalistic idea. This is not a statement about future sin, which is always undesirable. See, for example, the ילקוט ראובני quoted here: הנה כבר נתבאר, כפי ערך גודל הנשמה, כן הוטבעה בתוך הקליפה, והם מבקשים לטנפה, ...


3

I am impressed by the gravity of your inquiry and your care in the matter in that you are seeking real answers to a complicated question. May Hashem help the two of you and anyone else in need of this post. First let's address some issues your question raised in this case, and then let's address the Halachic ramifications. The OP states that your wife is ...


1

Key difference between these cases and Shabtai Tzvi's ideas: they were either inadvertent (Lot and his daughters - they thought the whole world had been destroyed) or not technical violations of halachah (for example, Bathsheba was divorced).



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