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9

R' Moshe Feinstein in Even HaEzer 4:60 writes that it is absolutely prohibited, not just as a nice practice, but involves a Torah prohibition. Among other points, one thing he writes is that in his understanding of the Rambam, speaking to a woman in an affectionate manner is included in the Torah prohibition of illicit relationships.


7

My understanding is that many people today will start off with the assumption that a woman who bacame baal teshuva after a certain age is just not kohen-eligible. As for your question -- it's not an easy matter, but if it's prohibited it's prohibited. ("Don't embarrass someone" doesn't mean I can ignore the serious possibility of halachic prohibitions.) As ...


6

The Talmud says when you look into a prospective girl you should look into her brothers (Bava Basra 110a). Rav Yaakov Kaminetzky is reported to have said that this no longer applies, as it was said in a time when girls stayed in the home and that was their primary sphere of influence. However, today a girl will be influenced by a much broader sphere and ...


6

Rashi on Breishit 26:2 (@Yez is correct). Summarizing Rashi and Sifsei Chachamim's emmendations - Yitzhak was considered as a sacrifice (which, he was from the akieda). Sifsei Chachamim says he was considered Kodesh Kadashim ("most holy") and such sacrifices were not allowd to be taken out of the azarah. The entire land of Israel was considered the azara at ...


5

Generally with other ulta-orthodox baalei t'shuva or other people with similar backgrounds. That is a good idea, regardless, as the compatibility is more likely to be there. (The only exception to your list is persons of color - my observation is that they tend to find a person of a different color who doesn't have a hangup about it). In addition, There are ...


5

The first quality that comes to mind from the Torah is good Midos. Avraham did not want Yitzchok to marry the daughters of Canaan (Breishis 24:3 and Kli Yakar there) since he did not want Yitzchok to learn from their bad Midos. When Eliezer goes to find Rivka his test is if she is a Baalas Chesed, again checking out her Midos. (Breishis 24:14).


4

There are number of people one may not marry. This includes non-Jews, close relatives, and married people. For some Jews it also includes converts, mamzerim, divorcees, or others. (Sources include Rambam.) One should make sure that the person one is planning on marrying isn't in any of these categories.


3

Have a look in the Tosafos בתולה שעיברה in חגיגה on :דף י"ד Essentially Tosafos there brings a possible rule that if the wife would also be transgressing (in that case והוא אשה בבתוליה יקח) then we can rely on her. As opposed to Yichus issues where she really has nothing to lose if she lies. So we may to able to answer your question thus: As long as the ...


3

שולחן ערוך אבן העזר סימן ב סעיף ו לעולם ישתדל אדם לישא בת תלמיד חכם ולהשיא בתו לתלמיד חכם. לא מצא בת תלמיד חכם, ישא בת גדולי הדור. לא מצא בת גדולי הדור, ישא בת ראשי כנסיות. לא מצא בת ראשי כנסיות, ישא בת גבאי צדקה. לא מצא בת גבאי צדקה, ישא בת מלמדי תינוקות, ואל ישיא בתו לעם הארץ: הגה: ועל בנותיהן הוא אומר: ארור שוכב עם בהמה. וכל זה בעם הארץ שאינו מדקדק ...


3

The Rama 240:25 writes : הגה: וכן אם האב מוחה בבן לישא איזו אשה שיחפוץ בה הבן – אין צריך לשמוע אל האב (מהרי"ק שורש קס"ז). If a father protests a marriage a son does not have to listen. I would assume to get married to a specific girl is also not under kibbud Av.


3

There are many Shidduch sites out there. The very fact that they exist show that people are "falling out of the system" of using a Shadchan. One such site (which I know made a shidduch for my brother-in-law) is Saw You at Sinai. I could wax eloquently about the importance of a good Shadchan, etc., but unfortunately for many people they don't have access to ...


3

First of all, there is no rule on this that is being enforced, everybody may do however they choose. But, usually within the community the procedure is: the שדכן (Matchmaker) calls up both sides (parents) with the idea, the parents will do research, they will try to do the best research, in some cases it will take a week, sometimes more. Once both sides ...


3

In my (limited) experience, this is a fairly common thing. Rabbis often meet many different people in the course of their work, and person A might be a woman who has been looking for a match, while person B might be a man looking for a match. Many derivatives of this exist, such as "person A has brother/sister looking for a match," etc. In this case, ...


2

The Lubavitcher Rebbe specifically discouraged giving a ring at any time during the engagement. (The practice in Chabad is to give the diamond ring* in the Cheder HaYichud after the Chuppa, and even other gifts are not given directly, or at least not with witnesses). This is apprently explained at length in a Sicha of Nasso 5741, which unfortunately is not ...


2

Many baal-teshuva yeshivas in Israel specialize in making shiduchim, often between their talmidim and an affiliated girls' seminary. For example, I attended a yeshiva in Jerusalem made up mostly of baalei teshuva (already frum; not a kiruv yeshiva). During my time there, many students became engaged and married, often to students at the yeshiva's sister ...


2

Another popular site is JWed. It is different from SYAS in that people contact each other directly, without a shadchan.


1

Even the mishnah in pirkei avos is not interpreted by many achronim as the simple understanding. For example the Maharal explains that the mishnahs meaning is that a man should not learn torah with a woman. (see his peirush on this mishnah in full) but not having to do with having a conversation. Also a different version in avos derebi natan gives a ...


1

I hear it exclusively from the Litvish/Yeshivish type crowd, although that doesn't mean it doesn't transfer out over time. It means actively seeking shidduch opportunities - i.e. talking to Shadchanim, going out on dates. It is probably not earlier than late 20th century, certainly not in common usage, as I remember when I would hear it said differently ...



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