Hot answers tagged shidduchim-dating
7
http://chareidi.org/archives5761/korach/KRfeatures.htm
While our rabbis tell us that davening at kivrei tzaddikim is a
segulah for all types of help, the tradition of Amuka as an address
for unmarried men and women is a relatively new one, according to
experts in the field. It was "rediscovered" about fifty years ago by
Rav Shalom Gefner of Meah ...
6
The Talmud (Bava Kama 92a) states:
כל המבקש רחמים על חבירו והוא צריך לאותו דבר, הוא נענה תחילה
Anyone who asks for mercy for his friend, and he needs that thing too, he is answered first.
So you should consider praying for other people who have predicaments similar to your own.
(Inspired by this answer.)
5
The first section in Nishmas Avraham on Even Haezer reads (in my own translation):
Rabbi S.Z. Auerbach zatzal wrote me:
I'm uncertain about someone with an hereditary disease whose descendants will be in pain all their days, or who suffers a blood-clotting disorder that passes to sons (hemophilia), whether he may therefore refrain from ...
4
First off: make sure you're not both carriers for a recessive disease such as Tay-Sachs or Canavan. You can do this through Dor Yeshorim (in which case you're simply told "no conflict"), or can see a geneticist to actually find out what you carry. (Some people prefer not to have that burden.)
It's important to make sure you're on the same page about ...
3
A point to remember when there is reason to discourage the shidduch is that Lashon Hara for a to'eles is permitted only when there is no other way to achieve the same constructive outcome.
My Rosh Yeshivah told us that as a teacher of many eligible bochurim he often received inquiries about the suitability of a particular student. If there was indeed some ...
3
When I went for genetic testing, the secular geneticist told me that her rule of thumb was "oh they'll just test each pregnancy and terminate the Tay-Sachs ones." Suffice to say that Rabbi Moshe Feinstein vehemently opposed that logic. His student Rabbi Tendler is therefore opposed to amniocentesis as the couple will then be pressured to terminate -- when ...
2
Firstly, I would like to add to the question:
Rashi on Bereshis 25:20 says that after the akeida, Yitzchak waited to marry Rivkah for 3 years
המתין לה עד שתהא ראויה לביאה שלש שנים ונשאה:
He waited for her until she would be fit for marital relations-three
years-and then married her. — [From Gen. Rabbah 57:1;
From here it's pretty clear that ...
2
No problem.
The Maharsham (YD 96:1) holds that by a normal davar charif we go after rov tashmisho - the majority of its usage. Meaning, if most of the time the knife in question is used for cold (non kli rishon) things or for hot but kosher things, then it will not render a davar charif non-kosher, even if sometimes it is used to cut non-kosher meat ...
1
"You can recognize a person's real character by his wine cup (koso), his purse (kiso), and his anger (kaaso)." (Eruvin 65b)
I don't advise getting drunk, but the point is that to know someone you must test that person in different situations. It's not enough to talk things over. Take the person to different situations and test them out in their midos (how ...
1
Two points on mixed seating at weddings:
Shalom has already mentioned the mixed seating situation at the wedding of Rabbi Moshe David Tendler, the senior Rosh Yeshiva of RIETS (Yeshiva University) and son-in-law of HaRav Moshe Feinstein, the posek hadir (that generation's greatest decider of Jewish law) of the 20th century. But the kicker of that story is ...
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