Hot answers tagged

5

It is very difficult to find accurate statistics on divorce, and differences between countries are so great that any answer can only be useful from a specific countries' perspective. Finding prevalence statistics specifically focused on shidduchim is even harder. On of the problem of using divorce statistics is that part of the high reported rates of divorce ...


4

This is a responsum of Rabaz (vol. 2: Even Haezer, ch. 21) (of 19th-20th century Romania); not Radvaz (of 15th-16th century Egypt).


3

The answer I got was 5th-6th date, or about when the couple is ready to drop the shadchan. That's also the time you can start using her name directly. Of course, as mentioned above, everyone has their own guidelines and each should ask their own shadchan for what these guidelines are in their circles


3

Yes, both R. Chaim Kanievsky and R. Dovid Feinstein have expressed opposition towards this practice, because one can't get to know a picture. See here.


2

I live in a largely Orthodox community. My answer is a mix of my philosophy combined with the thinking of my kids' high school rabbis, whom, even after having graduated a few years ago, they still follow, to an extent. The kids' rabbis as well as most shul rabbis in my neighborhood highly encourage the use of matchmakers as the sole means of setting up ...


2

There are many questions here, but all quite interesting. Where did the idea of paying a shadchan come from? Is it an obligation? This depends on the community The first shidduch in Jewish history (Eliezer finding Rivka for Yitzhak) doesn't mention a fee and dinonline writes that the Sephardi custom is that "the shadchan traditionally receives no ...


2

Both Rabbi Yuval Sherlo and Rabbi Shelomo Aviner do not know of a source for this popular idea, so I think it is safe to say that there isn't one. Of course, it is a great deed (some say it can be considered as going in Hashem's ways, as the midrash tells us that He sits up above and mezaveg zivugim).


2

In 1980 I published an article in the Baltimore Jewish Times called, "What the Matchmaker Did and Didn't Do for Me." I interviewed many matchmakers and their clients and made myself (then single, of course) a guinea pig for a Boro Park matchmaker. The matchmakers make it pretty clear, that they take the time to find someone who is appropriate for you, and ...


1

The best answer, as other's have already indicated is to ask someone "in the business" so to speak or to ask your rabbi/rebbetzen, but if your looking for something on your own I would suggest "The Shidduch Manual." It's short and in English and super user-friendly. (It's published by "Isreal Book Shop.")


1

call the shadchan and let him/her you know you are not interested in th person you were introduced to and why. The only reason it is important to say why is so then the shadchan has a better understanding of who to set you up with next. A big part of the reason it's helpful to have a shadchan is for this very reason. It makes it significantly easier for both ...


1

One possible halachic problem that could arise is the possibility of indirect self-inflicted harm caused by someone else speaking lashon hara about you. This could lead to possible financial damage, and other forms of reputation damage, as well depending on how the girl and / or her parents, neighbors, etc. decide to retaliate. Often, there is hidden enmity ...


1

If at this park, at that time, it is common that people walk by and there is no block (such as locked passage etc) on the path that leads to it, and the spot at which the couple are is clearly visible, as in most cases of a public park, there is perfect compliance with the Yichud rules. In many Ultra-Orthodox communities, one would not rely on a place where ...



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